From f181ce3a29b7683aed33fb4008d1e7e8163e3c0a Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001 From: helenclx Date: Mon, 10 Feb 2025 12:32:57 +0000 Subject: [PATCH] Build: (3e0a0ad) Add new article about a love letter to myself --- archive/index.html | 18 +- articles/index.html | 5 + articles/love-letter-to-myself/index.html | 477 ++++++++++++++++++++++ categories/index.html | 2 +- categories/personal-life/index.html | 12 +- categories/star-wars-kotor-2/index.html | 6 +- categories/star-wars-kotor/index.html | 2 +- categories/stardew-valley/index.html | 2 +- categories/video-game-mods/index.html | 6 +- changelogs/2025/index.html | 11 + changelogs/index.html | 10 +- changelogs/page/2/index.html | 11 +- changelogs/page/3/index.html | 11 +- changelogs/page/4/index.html | 10 +- changelogs/page/5/index.html | 10 +- changelogs/page/6/index.html | 10 +- changelogs/page/7/index.html | 10 +- changelogs/page/8/index.html | 5 + feed.xml | 98 ++--- index.html | 4 +- sitemap.xml | 92 +++-- sitemap/index.html | 3 +- 22 files changed, 664 insertions(+), 151 deletions(-) create mode 100644 articles/love-letter-to-myself/index.html diff --git a/archive/index.html b/archive/index.html index 4c82d497..32b5d8a2 100644 --- a/archive/index.html +++ b/archive/index.html @@ -379,7 +379,7 @@ drop-shadow(0.1rem 0.1rem 0.2rem rgba(30, 30, 30, 0.8))

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    A Love Letter to Myself

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    + 805 words. + Posted on by Leilukin +

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    32-Bit Cafe is hosting a code jam for Valentine's Day 2025, titled "Party for One", as the theme is making a digital Valentine's Day gift dedicated to yourself. After much consideration, I decided to take this opportunity to write a love letter to myself, as a Valentine's Day gift to myself and a reminder of my self-worth.

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    Dear Leilukin,

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    You and I go way back to the beginning of your life, and we have stuck with each other through thick and thin. There is so much I want to tell you, and I hope by writing this letter, you will appreciate how much I cherish, admire and respect you.

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    You have come a long way since your childhood and adolescence. You have grown from an insecure child with low self-esteem after enduring years of bullying at school, desperate for external validation and other people's approval, to an adult who takes pride in who they are and does not care about what others think of them. Therefore, it is unsurprising that you said that while adulthood certainly has its challenges, you do not miss being a child or teenager, and you actually enjoy being an adult.

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    I know very well that your self-confidence did not come easy, and it did not happen overnight either. After being traumatised by years-long abuse from a secondary school bully and later a personal betrayal from someone who sided with said bully, whom you thought was your friend, you went on to struggled with trust issues and lack of faith in yourself throughout your early adulthood, even though you never met those people who hurt you the most again, until you attended therapy when you were approaching your late 20s. With your therapist's help, you learned that life is like a train, with the people you have met in your life as your passengers, and after the people who hurt you and vandalised your train left, you can choose to redecorate your train and welcome new people in your life who would treat you better. Learning this metaphor was what finally made you learn that it is not worth letting the people who hurt you to continue to define your life.

    +

    I am proud of you for figuring out you are a queer, autistic, non-binary lesbian on the asexual and aromantic spectrum as an adult, despite the lack of queer and autistic resources and media representation when you grew up. It is fortunate that you encountered online queer and autistic communities and resources that helped you figure yourself out, but at the end of the day, it was you who decided to take active steps in understanding yourself better, so you know how to live your life better, and to not be afraid to be different. When you were a kid, fellow students in school had bullied you for being a socially awkward and friendless "weird" kid, but normality is a social construct, so your worth as a person is not determined by how "normal" you are perceived by others. You are unique, and your uniqueness is worth celebrating. You do not need to rely on someone else for your happiness, either.

    +

    The self-worth you spent years in building up has also given you the strength to accept your retinitis pigmentosa diagnosis, as you understand that the possibility of losing sight is not the end of the world. Queer and disability pride in the face of a cisheternormative and ableist society is an act of rebellion. Being a non-binary lesbian who refuses to conform to traditional gender roles is also a defiance to a patriarchy.

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    Learning to look after your well-being and to set boundaries are crucial for a happy and fulfilling life, so I applaud you for making decisions out of consideration for your well-being, including:

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    • Going to therapy to improve your mental health;
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    • Leaving an openly anti-gay church to join a queer-affirming one;
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    • Switching your career path to web development, a field you actually feel confident and interested in doing, after being burned out from graphic design as a profession;
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    • Seeing an eye doctor to get diagnosed with your eye problems;
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    • Quitting your first web developer job when it is clear that your web developer skills were not valued by your employers enough, and the job will likely make you more miserable in the long run if you stayed.
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    Furthermore, I admire your spirit of treating learning as a lifelong process, and understanding the importance of thinking for yourself, by keeping yourself curious and not being afraid of learning new things, while remaining true to yourself, by standing firm with your convictions to be kind and striving to be authentic.

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    Together we will live the best life we can possibly have. No matter what happens, I will always love you.

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    Love,
    +Me

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      • diff --git a/feed.xml b/feed.xml index 2b5c76c8..7134b453 100644 --- a/feed.xml +++ b/feed.xml @@ -4,13 +4,52 @@ Leilukin's personal website. - 2025-02-09T14:58:38Z + 2025-02-10T12:31:30Z https://leilukin.com/ Leilukin contact@leilukin.com + + Changelog: 10 February 2025 + + 2025-02-10T12:31:30Z + https://leilukin.com/ + <ul> +<li>New article: <a href="/articles/love-letter-to-myself">&quot;A Love Letter to Myself&quot;</a>.</li> +</ul> + + + + + A Love Letter to Myself | Articles + + 2025-02-10T12:31:26Z + https://leilukin.com/articles/love-letter-to-myself/ + <p><a href="https://32bit.cafe/">32-Bit Cafe</a> is hosting a code jam for Valentine's Day 2025, titled <a href="https://32bit.cafe/vday25/">&quot;Party for One&quot;</a>, as the theme is making a digital Valentine's Day gift dedicated to yourself. After much consideration, I decided to take this opportunity to write a love letter to myself, as a Valentine's Day gift to myself and a reminder of my self-worth.</p> +<hr> +<p>Dear Leilukin,</p> +<p>You and I go way back to the beginning of your life, and we have stuck with each other through thick and thin. There is so much I want to tell you, and I hope by writing this letter, you will appreciate how much I cherish, admire and respect you.</p> +<p>You have come a long way since your childhood and adolescence. You have grown from an insecure child with low self-esteem after enduring years of bullying at school, desperate for external validation and other people's approval, to an adult who takes pride in who they are and does not care about what others think of them. Therefore, it is unsurprising that you said that while adulthood certainly has its challenges, you do not miss being a child or teenager, and you actually enjoy being an adult.</p> +<p>I know very well that your self-confidence did not come easy, and it did not happen overnight either. After being traumatised by years-long abuse from a secondary school bully and later a personal betrayal from someone who sided with said bully, whom you thought was your friend, you went on to struggled with trust issues and lack of faith in yourself throughout your early adulthood, even though you never met those people who hurt you the most again, until you attended therapy when you were approaching your late 20s. With your therapist's help, you learned that life is like a train, with the people you have met in your life as your passengers, and after the people who hurt you and vandalised your train left, you can choose to redecorate your train and welcome new people in your life who would treat you better. Learning this metaphor was what finally made you learn that it is not worth letting the people who hurt you to continue to define your life.</p> +<p>I am proud of you for figuring out you are a queer, autistic, non-binary lesbian on the asexual and aromantic spectrum as an adult, despite the lack of queer and autistic resources and media representation when you grew up. It is fortunate that you encountered online queer and autistic communities and resources that helped you figure yourself out, but at the end of the day, it was you who decided to take active steps in understanding yourself better, so you know how to live your life better, and to not be afraid to be different. When you were a kid, fellow students in school had bullied you for being a socially awkward and friendless &quot;weird&quot; kid, but normality is a social construct, so your worth as a person is not determined by how &quot;normal&quot; you are perceived by others. You are unique, and your uniqueness is worth celebrating. You do not need to rely on someone else for your happiness, either.</p> +<p>The self-worth you spent years in building up has also given you the strength to accept your <a href="https://leilukin.com/articles/living-with-retinitis-pigmentosa/">retinitis pigmentosa diagnosis</a>, as you understand that the possibility of losing sight is not the end of the world. Queer and disability pride in the face of a cisheternormative and ableist society is an act of rebellion. Being a non-binary lesbian who refuses to conform to traditional gender roles is also a defiance to a patriarchy.</p> +<p>Learning to look after your well-being and to set boundaries are crucial for a happy and fulfilling life, so I applaud you for making decisions out of consideration for your well-being, including:</p> +<ul> +<li>Going to therapy to improve your mental health;</li> +<li>Leaving an openly anti-gay church to join a queer-affirming one;</li> +<li>Switching your career path to web development, a field you actually feel confident and interested in doing, after being burned out from graphic design as a profession;</li> +<li>Seeing an eye doctor to get diagnosed with your eye problems;</li> +<li><a href="https://leilukin.com/blog/posts/2024-12-16-leaving-my-first-developer-job">Quitting your first web developer job</a> when it is clear that your web developer skills were not valued by your employers enough, and the job will likely make you more miserable in the long run if you stayed.</li> +</ul> +<p>Furthermore, I admire your spirit of treating learning as a lifelong process, and understanding the importance of thinking for yourself, by keeping yourself curious and not being afraid of learning new things, while remaining true to yourself, by standing firm with your convictions to be kind and striving to be authentic.</p> +<p>Together we will live the best life we can possibly have. No matter what happens, I will always love you.</p> +<p>Love,<br> +Me</p> + + + Changelog: 9 February 2025 @@ -243,63 +282,6 @@ <p>When I realised a while ago that the year 2024 would also mark the 20th anniversary of the earthquake and tsunami, I felt that time filed, because I still remembered the shock I felt in my young mind when I read the news reports about that natural disaster.</p> <p>When the Indian Ocean tsunami struck in 2004, I had just graduated from primary school and was staying at home, and 26 December was also the birthday of my favourite cousin. Later, when I learnt of the massive earthquake in the Indian Ocean caused a massive tsunami that affected many countries, including my own country, Malaysia (especially the northern Malaysia), I was deeply shocked by how deadly and destructive the tsunami was, with the sheer amount of lives lost and the destruction of areas caused by that natural disaster, even though the part of Malaysia I lived (and still live) in was not affected.</p> <p>May the dead rest in peace. My condolences to those who lost their loved ones on that day.</p> - - - - - Changelog: 25 December 2024 - - 2024-12-25T06:26:04Z - https://leilukin.com/ - <ul> -<li>New blog post: <a href="/blog/posts/2024-12-25-leilukins-2024-in-review">&quot;Leilukin's 2024: A Year In Review&quot;</a></li> -</ul> - - - - - Leilukin's 2024: A Year In Review | Blog - - 2024-12-25T06:25:57Z - https://leilukin.com/blog/posts/2024-12-25-leilukins-2024-in-review/ - <p><a href="https://32bit.cafe/">32-Bit Cafe</a> is hosting a <a href="https://32bit.cafe/newyear25/">New Years '25 event</a>, so this is a good opportunity for me to write a year-in-review post to reflect on my 2024, which has been an eventful year for both Leilukin's Hub and my personal life, although I already intended to do so even without 32-Bit Cafe's event. 🙂</p> -<div class="heading-wrapper h2"> -<h2 id="rebuilt-leilukins-hub-with-eleventy">Rebuilt Leilukin's Hub with Eleventy</h2> -<a class="heading-anchor" href="https://leilukin.com/blog/posts/2024-12-25-leilukins-2024-in-review/#rebuilt-leilukins-hub-with-eleventy" aria-labelledby="rebuilt-leilukins-hub-with-eleventy"><span hidden="">#</span></a></div> -<p>The first major event was my discovery of the static site generator <a href="https://www.11ty.dev/">Eleventy</a> in April 2024. I was looking for a way to manage and continue to build my website better by eliminating the process of duplicating some HTML parts over and over across multiple pages. Then I discovered Eleventy through Neocities, as some websites hosted on Neocities were built with it.</p> -<p>After digging into and trying out Eleventy, I quickly realised that it was the solution I had been looking for, so I <a href="https://leilukin.com/blog/posts/2024-04-21-april-2024-leilukins-hub-overhaul-with-eleventy/">spent a whole week rebuilding Leilukin's Hub</a>, and I could not be happier with how my website and my new development workflow turned out.</p> -<div class="heading-wrapper h2"> -<h2 id="custom-domain-name-and-new-host-for-leilukins-hub">Custom Domain Name and New Host for Leilukin's Hub</h2> -<a class="heading-anchor" href="https://leilukin.com/blog/posts/2024-12-25-leilukins-2024-in-review/#custom-domain-name-and-new-host-for-leilukins-hub" aria-labelledby="custom-domain-name-and-new-host-for-leilukins-hub"><span hidden="">#</span></a></div> -<p>Rebuilding my entire website with a static site generator was only the first step of taking my site to the next level. As both Leilukin's Hub and my web development skills grew, I began to consider alternative hosting services to Neocities, which was where Leilukin's Hub was initially hosted on, and renting a custom domain name for my website.</p> -<p>Near the end of May, I rented leilukin.com from Porkbun, <a href="https://leilukin.com/blog/posts/2024-05-31-domain-name-hosting-change-leilukins-hub/">set leilukin.com as the domain name of Leilukin's Hub, and migrated Leilukin's Hub to Netlify</a>.</p> -<p>Meanwhile, I dabbled in PHP to build a <a href="https://leilukin.com/blog/posts/2024-06-21-leilukins-hub-tumbleblog-launched/">tumbleblog</a> and <a href="https://leilukin.com/blog/posts/2024-07-02-fanlisting-collective-launch/">fanlisting collective</a> for Leilukin's Hub. At first, those subsites were hosted on InfinityFree, but after using nearly two months, I started to feel frustrated by the limitations of InfinityFree.</p> -<p>Therefore, I finally <a href="https://leilukin.com/blog/posts/2024-07-27-hostinger-migration-leilukins-hub/">migrated Leilukin's Hub and all its subsites to Hostinger</a> in July. I have used Hostinger since then, and I am satisfied with it.</p> -<div class="heading-wrapper h2"> -<h2 id="started-participating-in-the-personal-web">Started Participating in the Personal Web</h2> -<a class="heading-anchor" href="https://leilukin.com/blog/posts/2024-12-25-leilukins-2024-in-review/#started-participating-in-the-personal-web" aria-labelledby="started-participating-in-the-personal-web"><span hidden="">#</span></a></div> -<p>2004 was also the year when I made the conscious decision to be more active in participating in the personal web and connecting with other personal website owners. I explored other personal websites more through links, left messages on other people's guestbooks, sent more emails to personal website owners, and joined more webrings, pixel clubs, web cliques and fanlistings.</p> -<p>Browsing other people's personal websites also provided a lot of inspiration for my own website, and socialising with other people in personal web spaces made me learn that if we want to have a community, we need to put effort in making connections with and reaching out to other people, instead of relying on a particular platform, online or offline.</p> -<p>Furthermore, I joined the 32-Bit Cafe community in June, and became active in both its Discord server and Discourse forums, which <a href="https://tumbleblog.leilukin.com/2024/07/02/earned-32-bit-cafe-new-member-of-the-month-award-for-june-2024/">awarded me &quot;New Member of the Month&quot; for June 2024</a>. I also participated in a 32-Bit Cafe event for the first time in August, specifically the <a href="https://leilukin.com/articles/accessible-footnotes/">&quot;Back to School&quot; community code jam</a>.</p> -<p>This 2024 year in review post is my second time participating in 32-Bit Cafe's events.</p> -<div class="heading-wrapper h2"> -<h2 id="my-first-web-developer-job">My First Web Developer Job</h2> -<a class="heading-anchor" href="https://leilukin.com/blog/posts/2024-12-25-leilukins-2024-in-review/#my-first-web-developer-job" aria-labelledby="my-first-web-developer-job"><span hidden="">#</span></a></div> -<p>My interest in web design and development went as far back as my teenage blogging years in the 2000s, when I learned basic HTML and CSS through editing blog themes and widgets, but I did not know how to pursue web development as a profession at the time.</p> -<p>Fast-forward to 2022, when my interest in HTML and CSS was rekindled by coding my own website from scratch for the first time after discovering Neocities. This time, my interest in web development grew enough for me to take online courses, starting with freeCodeCamp, and decided to switch my career path from graphic design to web development after being inspired by the stories of other people, including career switchers, becoming a professional developer without a computer science degree.</p> -<p>After teaching myself web development for almost two years, my dream of <a href="https://leilukin.com/blog/posts/2024-08-18-from-hobbyist-to-professional-web-developer/">getting my first developer job came true in August</a>. In my first web development job, I succeed in developing a custom WordPress plugin, something I never did before this job.</p> -<p>Unfortunately, my first web development ended up lasting only four months, because it turned out my employer only considered his company website as merely one part of the company's marketing, and what he really wants is a digital marketer who can wear as many hats as the company wants. I refuse to waste my time and life in a field I am less interested in and less equipped for just to keep one job, while sacrificing my time in continuing to learn web development, so I <a href="https://leilukin.com/blog/posts/2024-12-16-leaving-my-first-developer-job/">decided to leave the company</a>, thus 3 January 2025 will be the final day of my employment in the company.</p> -<div class="heading-wrapper h2"> -<h2 id="diagnosed-with-retinitis-pigmentosa">Diagnosed with Retinitis Pigmentosa</h2> -<a class="heading-anchor" href="https://leilukin.com/blog/posts/2024-12-25-leilukins-2024-in-review/#diagnosed-with-retinitis-pigmentosa" aria-labelledby="diagnosed-with-retinitis-pigmentosa"><span hidden="">#</span></a></div> -<p>While I have astigmatism and myopia for most of my life, recently, my parents and I suspected that I had other genetic eye conditions as my relatives were beginning to experience issues with their eyesight.</p> -<p>Therefore, on 30 November 2024, I went to see an eye doctor. Turned out, I do have a genetic eye condition, specifically <a href="https://leilukin.com/articles/living-with-retinitis-pigmentosa">retinitis pigmentosa (RP)</a>. My reaction to my RP diagnosis was more relieved than upset, because there was finally an explanation for many of the difficulties I have been experiencing in my daily life as I grew older, aside from autism. I have accepted that I am visually impaired, and my visual disability may not be cured in my lifetime, in ways that are similar to my acceptance of my autism.</p> -<div class="heading-wrapper h2"> -<h2 id="wrapping-up">Wrapping Up</h2> -<a class="heading-anchor" href="https://leilukin.com/blog/posts/2024-12-25-leilukins-2024-in-review/#wrapping-up" aria-labelledby="wrapping-up"><span hidden="">#</span></a></div> -<p>2024 has been a huge year for Leilukin's Hub, my relationship with web and my personal life.</p> -<p>Leilukin's Hub has grown significantly since 2022, while connecting with other personal website owners and participating in personal web spaces inspired the many improvements I had made to my website, and helped me cultivate a healthier relationship with the web, by learning to make connections and be social with other people on the web. For my personal life, being diagnosed with a genetic eye disease that causes gradual vision loss and currently has no cure made me understand my conditions and limits better, so I can know how to live my life better.</p> -<p>I am not really a person to make specific goals for a new year, because I am old enough to realise that unexpected circumstances can change our goals and plans. However, for 2025, I intend to continue to work on my websites, participate in the personal web and advocate for making your own websites, and keep learning web development.</p> \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/index.html b/index.html index 61ee3db0..eb91e337 100644 --- a/index.html +++ b/index.html @@ -427,9 +427,9 @@ drop-shadow(0.1rem 0.1rem 0.2rem rgba(30, 30, 30, 0.8))

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