blog update

muse/blog/b_attach.md

@@ -0,0 +1,54 @@
+---
+title: breakdown 1
+date: 2025-05-20 00:36:22 -5000
+---
+
+This is going to be even less organized than the other blog posts, fair warning. This is just putting my fucked up mind down and trying to convince myself its ok because nobody reads these, and if you don't want to hear about some kid whining about themself then leave now.
+
+Then again, I infect my negativity on every freaking internet space I inhabit, so why not double down on my own website, ey?????
+
+I am so completely messed up and broken and keep hiding it behind this stupid veneer of being innocent and going with everyone and i 
+
+like i barely have any motivation or driving force to make something, anything of actual value, like I START stuff but i just cant return to them after a week like look at how much this website hasnt changed since I got the grid layout done???
+
+like the radio club i dumped and the dump of communities ive been kicked from because of how much i beg for other people to help constantly and like
+
+i cant do anything by myself and
+
+i keep getting myself stuck in these endless pits in my mind and never going anywhere and never making anything new beyond the stupid routines i lock myself into
+
+like the daily drawing and comic
+
+those are like the only "long running" thing i can even muster up the goddamn willpower to do and like
+
+i dont know
+
+i dont know why im even talking to you
+
+you
+
+who even are you, why do you care about me i barely have anything on here
+
+just some stupid links to other websites, a small handful of novelties and like 1 thing actually bringing people back (the comic)
+
+am i jsut going to be forgotten
+
+i dont have anything
+
+i cant CONSISTENTLY make anything
+
+its jsut stupid flash in the pan ideas i cant follow through on
+
+you have NOT seen how many experimental pages on here have like one or two elements
+
+i cant follow through on anything
+
+im constantly envioujs of everyone
+
+i ruin half the relationships i make
+
+i so badly wish i was just normal and didnt have ADHD and autism or whatever the hell is wrong with my brain
+
+again i dont know WHY im talking to you about this
+
+what am i even doing

muse/blog/b_cry_terriblehands.md

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+---
+title: [balatro modded] why cryptids new hands are all completely useless
+date: 2025-06-04 01:06:32 -5000
+---
+i absolutely love balatro modded, the sheer insanity possible with it is a blast (and its my 5th most played game on record)
+
+THAT BEING SAID, THE NEW POKER HANDS THAT THE CRYPTID MOD ADDS ARE ALL KINDA USELES AND ACTIVELY DETRIMENTAL
+
+AHEM
+
+lets begin:
+
+## BULWARK - 5 stone cards (or other modded rankless, suitless card)
+bulwark is an interesting case, since its the only new hand that doesnt requier any kind of setup outside of getting the cards. it also has a fair amount of scoring. that being said, /rankless and suitless cards have no synergy/. you are actively giving up every single joker that triggers on rank OR suit, and every single enchancement (since rank/suitless is only obtainable thru an enchantment, and reentchanting them loses that). and for WHAT?! stone cards have almost no synergy, and neither do most other modded r/s cards! the best case you could make is using a jewel card (x2 chips) along with it, and praying your jokers can scale well without being able to build up your deck at all.
+
+
+### tangent: card selection increase
+cryptid adds a new mechanic wherein you can increase how many cards you can select through a voucher or a single rare joker (at least in base cryptid). every other hand here requires that, so im also judgng them based on the setup of finding those, which can be pretty difficult
+
+also there are TECHNICALLY a few new hands added through ascended hands, ie playing a 6 of a kind or flush 6, but since they use the base mult of the original im not counting it
+
+## Ult. Pair - two pair of the same suit, and a second two pair of a different suit
+this one is the hardest to explain, but i think i got it. the main issue i have with u.p. is that it both requires a lot of setup to get +3 card selection, and to get enough pairs of certain cards and certain ranks togther. if you want to get synergies from multiple suits/ranks, use wildcards or splash??
+
+## Clusterf**k - 8 cards that do not form a Pair, Flush, or Straight
+you literally cannot deckbuild towards this, or at least you cant without some serious planning. its a cute hand, i like the swearing, but like unless you get a lot of hand size inceases or are extremely (un)lucky, youre probably not going to play this consistently. and if you are, just deck build towards flush or something?
+
+## The Entire F**king Deck - All 52 cards in a deck
+no. just no. there is LITERALLY no way you are playing this one unless you are specifically gunning for it. you would need the unlimited deck (infinite card selection), oil lamping the frick out of the card selection jokers (oil lamp increases the values of jokers after every round), AND find some way to draw every card to your deck (efficare or pot of jokers), AAAND make sure you don't modify or stone card any of them in the meantime because it does check for every single card and if you dont have that 7 of spades, oh boy gee you arent getting a TEFD. at the very least, it has a base chip/mult of 5e29 x 5e28, so it is well worth it IF you can ever play one.
+
+## None - 0 cards
+yes you read that right. 0 cards. this is the MOST gimmicky of every single hand here, since the only way you can play it is if you go into sapphire stamp (deselects one card before playing) and play one card. then its unlocked on your save file. this one i actually do somewhat like BECAUSE if you get a lot of card in hand joker/effects, you basically get a slightly better highcard build. and it requires no set up outside of doing the above on a save file. still feels a bit pointless, but ey

muse/blog/index.md

@@ -9,3 +9,4 @@ title: blog posts
 <a href="b_fast">Too fast to appreciate</a><br>
 <a href="b_design">Linux, Personalization, and why Windows sucks</a><br>
 <a href="b_defchoice">LLWH v HC (Why the first choices matter)</a><br>
+<a href="b_cry_terriblehands">[balatro modded] why cryptids new hands are all completely useless</a><br>

personal/journal.html

@@ -17,6 +17,16 @@ permalink: /journal
 <h2>basically the "hidden" vent section ive seen the webtracker nobody looks at this page</h2>
 
 
+<article>
+        <h2>2025-06-03</h2>
+        <p>(22:34)<br>
+        crapcrapcRAPCRAP THERES A HUGE STORM OUTSIDE RN<br>
+        THE LIGHTS ARE STARTING TO GO OUT<br>
+        HELP<br>
+        I THINK THE POWER MIGHT GO OUT AGAINNN
+        </p>
+</article>
+
 <article>
         <h2>2025-06-02</h2>
         <p>(17:31)<br>