diff --git a/_layouts/default.html b/_layouts/default.html
index a1aab85..da24751 100644
--- a/_layouts/default.html
+++ b/_layouts/default.html
@@ -15,6 +15,7 @@ navbar: topnav
 			{% include neko.html %}
 		{% endif %}
 		<script data-goatcounter="https://slimepondcount.goatcounter.com/count" async src="//gc.zgo.at/count.js"></script>
+		<script src="/assets/js/unixfortune.js"></script>
 
 		{% include background.html %}
 		{% include mplayer.html %}
@@ -33,7 +34,7 @@ navbar: topnav
 				{% include statuscafe.html %}
 				<img src="/assets/images/blinkers/cc-by-sa.gif">
 			</div>
-			<marquee class="quotes">
+			<marquee onstart="updateFortune(this, '/assets/fortune/fortunes')" class="quotes">
 				quotes will go here when i get back to working on this
 			</marquee>
 				
diff --git a/assets/js/unixfortune.js b/assets/js/unixfortune.js
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..5c07f3e
--- /dev/null
+++ b/assets/js/unixfortune.js
@@ -0,0 +1,33 @@
+async function fetchFortune(file) {
+	/*
+	 * i am a fking idiot
+	let dat = await fetch(`${file}.dat`)
+	if (!dat.ok)
+		{ throw new Error(`HTTP error: ${dat.status}`); }
+
+	var bytes = await dat.arrayBuffer();
+	bytes = new DataView(bytes);
+
+	// bytes 4-8 are # of strings in file
+	let arrLen = bytes.getUint32(4, false);
+	let arrInd = Math.floor(Math.random() * arrLen);
+
+	// starting at 24, each 4 bytes are another entry
+	let strInd = bytes.getUint32(24 + (arrInd * 4), false);
+	*/
+
+	let subdat = await fetch(file);
+	if (!subdat.ok)
+		{ throw new Error(`HTTP error: ${subdat.status}`); }
+
+	bytes = await subdat.text();
+	//bytes = bytes.substring(strInd).split("%");
+	bytes = bytes.split("%");
+	bytes = bytes[Math.floor(Math.random() * bytes.length)];
+	return bytes.slice(0,-1);;
+}
+
+async function updateFortune(elem, file) {
+	let ft = await fetchFortune(file);
+	elem.innerHTML = ft;
+}