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jrnal

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etherware-novice 2024-11-21 21:01:36 -06:00
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personal/journal.html
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@ -17,6 +17,29 @@ permalink: /journal
<h2>basically the "hidden" vent section ive seen the webtracker nobody looks at this page</h2>
<article>
<h2>2024-11-21</h2>
<p>man i hate my parents sometimes<br>
"oh just get a friend in every class you<br>
should have at least one friend in every class"<br>
like i can just snap my fingers and get someone to<br>
like me?? like god im amazed i even got one friend<br>
and that was basically by accident and we still barely<br>
talk outside class and im worried its going to fall through<br>
again and if you havent noticed im terrible with all relationships<br>
the stupid putting myself down is probably just like a<br>
idk a defense mechanism because im scared of making<br>
something "bad" because i look up to so many people and<br>
so many other guys have such incredible stuff<br>
(art, websites, writing, pkrl) and it feels terrible to me<br>
because theres no way that i could do that without building<br>
up to it and that practice feels so indirect and like im making<br>
no progress and just desperately trying to chase someone else<br>
and not being able to get there before losing steam and feeling<br>
ashamed because i failed at it and idk IDK i really want to do<br>
cool stuff too and be in a group without worrying if they like me</p>
</article>
<article>
<h2>2024-11-20</h2>
<p>feeling completely aimless and demotivated today<br>