jrnal

personal/journal.html

@@ -17,6 +17,29 @@ permalink: /journal
 <h2>basically the "hidden" vent section ive seen the webtracker nobody looks at this page</h2>
 
 
+<article>
+	<h2>2024-11-21</h2>
+	<p>man i hate my parents sometimes<br>
+	"oh just get a friend in every class you<br>
+	should have at least one friend in every class"<br>
+	like i can just snap my fingers and get someone to<br>
+	like me?? like god im amazed i even got one friend<br>
+	and that was basically by accident and we still barely<br>
+	talk outside class and im worried its going to fall through<br>
+	again and if you havent noticed im terrible with all relationships<br>
+	the stupid putting myself down is probably just like a<br>
+	idk a defense mechanism because im scared of making<br>
+	something "bad" because i look up to so many people and<br>
+	so many other guys have such incredible stuff<br>
+	(art, websites, writing, pkrl) and it feels terrible to me<br>
+	because theres no way that i could do that without building<br>
+	up to it and that practice feels so indirect and like im making<br>
+	no progress and just desperately trying to chase someone else<br>
+	and not being able to get there before losing steam and feeling<br>
+	ashamed because i failed at it and idk IDK i really want to do<br>
+	cool stuff too and be in a group without worrying if they like me</p>
+</article>
+
 <article>
 	<h2>2024-11-20</h2>
 	<p>feeling completely aimless and demotivated today<br>