---
title: vent/journal
permalink: /journal
---

<a href="https://journal.miso.town/atom?url=https://abslimeware.neocities.org/journal">
	<img src="/assets/images/blinkers/rss.png" />
	RSS
</a href><br>

<a href="https://kiosk.nightfall.city/">
	probaby never on <img src="https://kiosk.nightfall.city/banner-kiosk.png"
	alt="The Neon Kiosk - Nightfall City">
</a>

<h1>candys journal</h1>
<h2>basically the "hidden" vent section ive seen the webtracker nobody looks at this page</h2>


<article>
	<h2>2024-11-07</h2>
	<p>its really cool seeing such a wide range of<br>
	states that people visit from, even if i never<br>
	get to talk to them just seeing that is cool</p>
</article>

<article>
	<h2>2024-11-04</h2>
	<p>back here again, i guess<br>
	being scared of things seems to be my entire driving force huh<br>
	i wish it wasnt but its the only thing that reliably motivates<br>
	me to do anything but lay around and be pathetic and waste time<br>
	scared that if i stopped doing art id never start again<br>
	or people would forget me<br>
	id just be another face, nice to talk to but gone instantly<br>
	i already tried this stupid journal thing three times and<br>
	deleted everything or gave up because it was just me whining<br>
	and being a stupid little edgy teen because my life is literally<br>
	just uni and discord/stupid frking forums and who wants to read<br>
	about that "oh i went to school it was uneventful then i went<br>
	online and talked with people about nothing like the last 500<br>
	entries" i dont know what to do<br>
	sorry for another negative entry but again barely anything<br>
	happens here</p>
</article>

<article>
	<h2>2024-09-30</h2>
	<p>Wow, a whole month before I tore down the<br>
	journal page again!! cool, huh??<br>
	now i get what people mean with "teenage mood swings"<br>
	i left the last article so i have something<br>
	to reference to copy this properly<br>
	these journals keep getting either<br>
	too negative or fall into disuse because<br>
	my life is incredibly boring besides like<br>
	talking about what i did online which would<br>
	make me sound like a really sad person and stuff<br>
	also my hyperfixations got me into trouble again<br>
	i really wish i could either be normal and not<br>
	obsess over real disorders people actually deal with<br>
	(DiD/pluralness) or just actually have it so i can feel<br>
	justified in being so interested and like be able to<br>
	interact with the community better and stuff and also in general<br>
	not have social anxiety and ok its getting too negative again<br>
	would it be wrong to say i want to inflict myself with it</p>
</article>

<article>
	<h2>2024-09-26</h2>
	<p>hey, im back its been a while<br>
	still dealing with stuff and college<br>
	idk how im feeling really</p>
</article>

<h2>[EXPUNGED]</h2>