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title: vent/journal
permalink: /journal
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	alt="The Neon Kiosk - Nightfall City">
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<h1>candys journal</h1>
<h2>basically the "hidden" vent section ive seen the webtracker nobody looks at this page</h2>


<article>
	<h2>2024-08-28</h2>
	<p>ok college is starting to speed up again<br>
	yey..</p>
</article>

<article>
	<h2>2024-08-27</h2>
	<p>the comic is finally starting to become sane again<br>
	in my personal life, college hasnt sped up yet so thats good<br>
	still scared of it<br>
	also i drew more slimes</p>
</article>

<article>
	<h2>2024-08-22</h2>
	<p>aaaa why are people looking at the journal :(<br>
	nah jk it does feel weird having actual readers now hi<br>
	college has been ok so far nothing super difficult Y E T<br>
	i started a rotumblr blog too so like thats fun<br>
	not much else to talk about
</article>

<article>
	<h2>2024-08-19</h2>
	<p>first day of college?<br>
	it wasnt /so/ bad i guess..<br>
	the compsci class seems pretty dang easy<br>
	from the syllabus, so i cant wait to knock it out<br>
	tho of course that advantage wont last long..<br>
	the other class today the professor didnt show up so..<br>
	yea?<br>
	<br>
	using the computer has gotten a lot more annoying lately<br>
	since my brother insists on constantly hanging out in the room<br>
	and messing with me and it drives me crazy and i just want him<br>
	to leave and thank god hes in the other room rn so i can write<br>
	this without looking over my shoulder every 5 words
	</p>
</article>

<article>
	<h2>2024-08-18</h2>
	<p>ok the comic is seriously going insane now<br>
	idk where its even going i need some help im going<br>
	to ask turtlehat for help again :P<br>
	also last day of summer which sucks<br>
	probaly cant work on the site as much<br>
	starting tomorrow</p>
</article>

<article>
	<h2>2024-08-16</h2>
	<p>sorry most of the stuff here has been vent<br>
	most of my life is like online and stuff and<br>
	i dont really have m/any irl friends and stuff<br>
	and well with college starting next week i probably<br>
	will either post here a lot more or not at all<br>
	feeling really aimless again yey</p>
</article>

<article>
	<h2>2024-08-15</h2>
	<p>its only the 15th by technicality, im writing this<br>
	an hour before midnight..<br>
	weird bug furry obsesion struck again i probably shouldnt<br>
	be on tumblr i ended up reading an ao3 fanfic about bugs<br>
	and now i am very fricked up and wana kiss a bug and aguh<br>
	reading hitchhikers to calm down but idk if im doing a comic<br>
	tomorrow will see if im still fricked up and furry when i wake up<br>
	see ya then mabye</p>
</article>

<article>
	<h2>2024-08-14</h2>
	<p>i think almost all of my problems are from just<br>
	not being able to let go and make something without<br>
	worrying about it being "good" or not..<br>
	my webcomic is terrible from an objective standpoint<br>
	i keep just doing stupid jokes and theres no development<br>
	ever and i keep forgetting stuff that made it more unique<br>
	bc i keep falling into the same formula of "make one off joke"<br>
	and all my drawings are the same i cant innovate anything<br>
	everything ive made was just a random thought that i threw<br>
	out and most of those get shut down because im "scared" of<br>
	it the only reason i even started the comic in the first<br>
	place was i pressured myself to from the USENET group and<br>
	kept going and now im stuck in a stupid loop again of making<br>
	the same stuff over and over and god i wish i could just like<br>
	commit to a storyline that was more than 2 pages long or more<br>
	unique character designs that arent just stolen from games im<br>
	obsessed with or "inspired" recolors of another persons char<br>
	and like i cant see the stupidest stuff like "a bug society"<br>
	without losing my fking mind and i am definitely a bug/slime<br>
	furry at this point and i hate it and i wish i was normal about<br>
	these things why cant i just SEE SOMEONE ELSES WEBCOMIC ABOUT BUGS<br>
	without like losing my mind or a game cough bug fables i hate it<br>
	frickin aaaaghhh</p>
</article>

<article>
	<h2>2024-08-13</h2>
	<p>i finally got a new computer desk!!<br>
	i can finally finally put a keyboard in<br>
	instead of using the laptop keyboard<br>
	it mmight be a bit harder to draw while i get<br>
	used to drawing at a different angle tho :P</p>
</article>

<article>
	<h2>2023-08-12</h2>
	<p>sleeping is the best way to feel better<br>
	also i got a good score on a math placement (retake) test so yey :)</p>

<article>
	<h2>2024-08-11</h2>
	<p>feeling very aimless again<br>
	like just going through the motions again<br>
	and again<br>
	college will be hell but it hasnt started yet so who knows<br>
	wish i could just be content<br>

	<br><br>
	16:00 update GOD DAMNIT<br>
	can i EVER exist in a public space without<br>
	being anti social or making everything worse for myself?!<br>

	<br>
	i really really dont unerstand the forum posting rules<br>
	and i keep ruining everything he probably hates me now<br>
	god i keep fricking everything up and the forum is going to<br>
	shut down in like 2 hours which is even worse because now<br>
	i cant even like "prove myself" at all and have to worry about
	it the entire day tomorrow why do i make things so much worse<br>
	for everyone around me why do i keep trying to do this<br>
	</p>
</article>

<article>
	<h2>2024-08-10</h2>
	<p>tried to work on the site more but anxiety hit again<br>
	guess ill just throw something into the jounral and be done with it</p>
</article>

<article>
	<h2>2024-08-06</h2>
	<p>being forced to go out to an overnight<br>
	camp sucks, but ill see yall later hopefully<br>
	drew the comic in advance so there shouldnt be a drop</p>
</article>

<article>
	<h2>2024-08-03</h2>
	<p>what is this, my 4th attempt at a blog?<br>
	here we go again</p>
</article>