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I scrobble (almost) all of my music to last.fm as I enjoy having a record of my listening habits for both reference and analysis. This year I finally found a solid app to do so from my phone, too, though my scrobbles lack what I listen to at work, which is a lot, as well as about half the year of listening on my phone. Therefore, as we head into 2016, I’d like to look back on what I listened to the most in 2015 (not necessarily my favorite releases from the year — my musical discovery process is best described as stumbling across things years after release). +## Cloud Nothings (904 plays) +In 2015 I returned to the embrace of pop-punk, infused with my newfound affection for noise pop and the authenticity that indie promises. Cloud Nothings’ first two album releases, _Turning On_ (2009) and the self-titled _Cloud Nothings_ (2011), chug along with effortlessly catchy hooks and explosions of distorted sound. _Attack on Memory_ (2012) and _Here and Nowhere Else_ (2014) perhaps lack the charm of earlier releases, opting instead for a more mature alt-rock sound, and I’m partial to the first two for their lightness; it’s indie pop-punk to chill with, that exude a loving and playful fun. + +I discovered them on accident in January of 2015, while browsing through Amazon for some CDs. _Here and Nowhere Else_ showed up as a recommended release and I immediately fell for “Now Hear In,” an ode to commiseration and comfort as Dylan Baldi repeats, “now I can feel your pain, and I feel alright about it.” + +I found my favorite tracks in those early releases (both on _Turning On_, actually), in “Morgan” and “Whaddya Wanna Know,” which capture the exuberance I associate with Cloud Nothings. “Morgan” repeats the same structure for maximum listener imprint, as a self-aware, disembodied voice chimes in at 2:20, “again and again.” “Whaddya Wanna Know” slows things down a bit, featuring an almost hypnotic chill that climaxes in the chorus’ falsetto. I challenge anyone to walk away from _Turning On_ and _Cloud Nothings_ without at least one hook caught in their brain and a bit more spring in their step. + +**Top & Notable Tracks:** “[Rock](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o6llxYzI5XQ)” (61 plays), “[Whaddya Wanna Know](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4LIwUjz5Ywo)” (58 plays), “[Now Hear In](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Oqd3P0Jy58w)” (55 plays), “[Giving Into Seeing](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r6FtHfJOW-A)” (52 plays), “[Can’t Stay Awake](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3PsyKNO8V84)” (41 plays), “[On the Radio](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2cDQxh8CN6w)” (39 plays), “[Morgan](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OeGm51cCO38)” (27 plays), “[Stay Useless](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T_zRt_EmqoU)” (22 plays) + +## Brand New (728 plays)[^1] +I guess I remembered that Brand New is one of my favorite groups this past year. I nearly matched all my plays from 2010-2014 in the span of 2015. I went deeper into their discography than I had ever before, both official and unofficial releases. Most significantly, this year marked the first time I heard “Out of Range,” an unreleased track that’s been floating around the internet. It’s a sparse, almost hollow track about detachment and a desire for belonging that haunted me on-and-off for weeks: “Am I a torn up, tattered, worn-out piece of fabric, not suitable to stitch up a rip? / ‘Cause I’d like to be tightly braided, gold and silver bracelets, / The type you like to wear ’round your wrist.” Bonus points for listening to the song at 1.5x speed, which brings out its Modest Mouse vibes and influences. + +This year I also gave _Daisy_ (2009) another chance, after writing it off on my first listen in 2013 as too heavy. It remains a difficult, dark album, but one that I began to digest and admire. _The Devil And God Are Raging Inside Me_ (2006) will always be my favorite Brand New release, but _Daisy_ definitely isn’t the disappointment I first wrote it off as. + +**Top & Notable Tracks:** “[Out of Range](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XhF1Xfg-9wM)” (128 plays), “[Mene](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CwICLInIl8A)” (45 plays), “[Limousine (MS Rebridge)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6FfF9fIDqFg)” (35 plays), “[Jesus](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cjPyvoLXPs4)” (29 plays), “[Sowing Season (Yeah)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ye09Th7KZn4)” (22 plays), “[Noro](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kDVMFCgoS60)” (14 plays), “[Untitled 02 (Morissey)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7FMeCcBfVwA)” (14 plays) + +## Perfect Pussy (524 plays) +I fell in love this year in the backdrop of a Perfect Pussy concert, then another, and then another. I saw them [in March at Webster Hall](http://www.last.fm/event/4010219+Deerhoof+at+Webster+Hall+on+28+March+2015), [in September at Riis Park](http://www.last.fm/event/4161751+Perfect+Pussy+at+Riis+Park+Beach+Bazaar+on+26+September+2015), and then in October at a car wash in Brooklyn. They blew me away each time. + +Perfect Pussy combines riot grrrl frontwoman Meredith Graves with angry, emotive punk. The lyrics smack you with a frank rawness, Graves shouting over distorted instruments “since when do we say yes to love?” in “Interference Fits” off their 2014 release, _Say Yes to Love_. It would be a crime to frame the group as merely the supporting acts to Meredith Graves, however. Drummer Garrett Koloski put on an incredible show at every concert as he hammered away in fashionable socks (or no shoes at all), guitarist Ray McAndrew went through something like three guitars at Riis Park, and their keyboardist adds a persistent, droning noise to bind songs together. A Perfect Pussy set isn’t x amount of songs; it’s a single, heart-pumping experience. + +**Top & Notable Tracks:** “[I](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XyVrZfyfeZw)” (173 plays), “[Interference Fits](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_R4YuekVuNY)” (38 plays), “[Work](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4HuEI2ExyMA)” (35 plays), “[Bells](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DVmFrV0PQF0)” (33 plays), “[II](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0tW6CcuBNhw)” (31 plays) + +## Pigthe (322 plays) +I took a journey deep into the internet to find Pigthe. Back in 2009, I found a group called The Middle Ones on Myspace. They’re a sweet little folk-pop group that plays with vocal harmonies, and I listened to them on-and-off for years. These days you can check them out [on Bandcamp](https://themiddleones.bandcamp.com/). + +Anyway, I was browsing a small forum that’s filled with indie music, and a user posted about a Middle Ones cover album, _Chants_, done by friends of the group, aptly named [The Peripheral Ones](https://theperipheralones.bandcamp.com/). The songs offer a nice twist on songs I’ve had in the back of my head for years, particularly their covers of “Drops” and “Young Explorer.” But the crowning song for The Peripheral Ones comes in “Morningtime,” which includes, in their words, “a lyrical interpolation of Super Bass by Nicki Minaj.” Yeah, really. + +It’s a creative and fun album for fans of The Middle Ones, and I’m sure those who have never heard of them can enjoy it too… [for free download, via Bandcamp](https://theperipheralones.bandcamp.com/album/chants). + +Having loved these covers so much, I set out to find the individuals who contributed to _Chants_. The Bandcamp page lists a number of Twitter accounts, but the only one that led me to more music was [@pigthe](https://twitter.com/pigthe). Available on [Pigthe’s Bandcamp page](http://music.pigthe.com/) are two albums, one free and one name your price, that share charms with The Peripheral Ones, with perhaps a more humored, indie-rock tinge. Check out, for example, the slow-build “Spider-Man” off _Welcome Back to Viridian_ (2011), which opens with “there’s nothing I love more than Spider-Man, / there’s nothing I adore like being sad,” the source of that sadness being the singer’s beef with Marvel’s handling of the Spider-Man character. The song eventually closes with a chant, “it’s stupid what they did to Jackpot, / it was stupid wiping the memory of Mary Jane, / it’s stupid pretty much any time there’s magic involved, / it’s stupid if it’s anywhere near the words ‘Brand New Day’.” + +You can find [even more via their website’s discography page](http://pigthe.com/discography.html). + +**Top & Notable Tracks:** “[2-way thing](http://music.pigthe.com/track/2-way-thing)” (28 plays), “[Hit Me, Baby](http://music.pigthe.com/track/hmb)” (26 plays), “[Fill In The Gaps](http://music.pigthe.com/track/fill-in-the-gaps)” (23 plays), “[Spider-Man](http://music.pigthe.com/track/spider-man)” (21 plays), “[International Wallflowers Anthem](http://music.pigthe.com/track/international-wallflowers-anthem)” (19 plays), “[‘orange juice’](http://music.pigthe.com/track/orange-juice)” (17 plays), “[Any Other Name](http://music.pigthe.com/track/any-other-name)” (14 plays), “[hell.](http://music.pigthe.com/track/hell)” (9 plays) + +## Miscellaneous Songs +Those were some of my top, new (to me) artists for the year, but there a few songs I would be remiss not to mention for my 2015 compilation. + +**"Make Out Time" (186 plays) & "Everything Stays" from *Adventure Time*** + +The Adventure Time soundtracks, curated by [Casey James Basichis](https://soundcloud.com/casey-james-basichis) and [staypuft](https://soundcloud.com/staypuft), fantastically compliment the (children’s) show’s nuclear fallout, Feudalistic future. “Make Out Time” is a short and sweet track from Season 6’s “Breezy,” in which Finn battles against depression and apathy with random hookups after learning what a disappointing, deadbeat criminal his father is. + +“Everything Stays” hails from the Stakes mini-series; Stakes turns the focus to Marceline the Vampire Queen, who must make peace with her past and her vampirism as she battles against old foes. It’s a dreamy track that grapples with permanence and mortality, complimented by a gentle bass and ambient soundscapes. + +**"Cut me out" by Trust Fund (130 plays)** + +Ellis Jones released his début album, _“No one’s coming for us_,” under the Trust Fund moniker in 2014. Trust Fund mashes together indie-rock and pop influences to build a unique track in “Cut me out” that simultaneously feels like every song you’ve heard in the background of a car ride and an absolutely unique collision of cymbals and apologies. Of “Cut me out,” Jones says, + +> I wanted this song to sound like Elliot Smith. Stefano’s guitar parts made this into a proper song. The ‘Fragile Alien’ bit I sort of pasted in from a different song so it has a different tune to the first verse. I felt smart when I did that. The lyrics do a lot of twisting around needlessly, but basically the message of the song is “sorry.” + +The song may be contrite (“I’m sorry if I accidentally implied, / I’m sorry if I explicitly promised, / I’m sorry if I swore on lives other than mine, / My cat, my dog, my sister, / I hope they’ll be alright”), but nobody in the video goes without an enormous grin for more than four or five seconds total. + +**"Me & U" by Cassie (122 plays)** + +My tastes thus far seem rather unified in genre, spanning the broad range of alternative rock with a proclivity in indie. I’ll throw a wrench in the works and introduce my other passion: R&B, pop, and hip-hop throwbacks from the late-90s and early 2000s. Off her self-titled 2006 début, “Me & U” spells out frank desire and sexuality accompanied by a heavy beat. More than a few of my morning commutes to school were spent listening exclusively to this dark, sexy track. + +**"Fourth of July" by Sufjan Stevens (82 plays)** + +Somehow I’ve gone my entire life, up to this point, without ever listening to a Sufjan song. At the behest of a good friend, I dove into his massive discography and fell in love with the first track that turned up in a playlist she gave me. “Fourth of July” is a simple, heart-wrenching track about the death of Stevens’s mother (which inspired the entirety of his 2015 release, _Carrie & Lowell_). It grabs and hypnotizes the listener with its sparse piano and looming ambiance as Sufjan repeatedly croons, “we’re all gonna die.” + +**"Angels" by The xx (71 plays)** + +For whatever reason, it took me three years to check out The xx’s sophomore album, _Coexist_. It’s a fantastic album that expand the whisper-tunes of their début, but shines in the acclaimed “Angels,” which features their iconic restraint. It manages to mesmerize despite its minimal instrumentation and plain, though heartfelt lyrics: “The end is unknown, / But I think I’m ready, / As long as you’re with me.” It deserves the praise. + +**"Lazy Eye" by Silversun Pickups (60 plays)** + +In my early teens, I’d pass the time by plopping myself in front of MTV’s station that just plays music videos over and over. Watching it for hours a day, I grew familiar with their lineup, and waited with fervor for them to repeat favorites like Fall Out Boy’s “Sugar, We’re Goin Down” and Relient K’s “Be My Escape.” Among those tracks (though aired far less frequently than Fall Out Boy) was Silversun Pickups’s “Lazy Eye.” I paid it little attention, at the time, but something dragged it out of the recesses of my brain during this past summer. + +The song cloaks itself in a chill strumming and smooth vocals until it peaks at 2:45: “Still the same old decent lazy eye, straight through your gaze / That’s why I said I relate, / I said we relate, it’s so fun to relate.” It’s an ardent, tender track with instantaneous charm and surprise. + +**"Cookie Thumper" by Die Antwoord (31 plays)** + +I saw *Chappie* this year. It was fucking weird. I liked it. + +[^1]: I wrote this post in 2016 before allegations about Jesse Lacey came out. He is a predator and has no business touring right now. (signed Cassie in 2025) diff --git a/content/posts/Life is Strange Episode 1 Chrysalis.md b/content/posts/Life is Strange Episode 1 Chrysalis.md index a5e8cbf..7963478 100644 --- a/content/posts/Life is Strange Episode 1 Chrysalis.md +++ b/content/posts/Life is Strange Episode 1 Chrysalis.md @@ -36,7 +36,7 @@ I won’t beat around the bush. I love Chloe.  I spent less than two hours with > Despite all that (or _because_ of all that), [there are ways of utilizing this trope without falling into that pitfall](http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TropesAreTools "http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TropesAreTools"). Given enough time, [Character Development](http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/CharacterDevelopment "http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/CharacterDevelopment") can add to their personality and interests and pull them away from the MPDG foundation. The story may even be told from [their perspective](http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/SwitchingPOV "http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/SwitchingPOV"), revealing that there is more to them than bringing adventure to brooding guys. [Deconstructions](http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Deconstruction "http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Deconstruction") of the idea may show that they resent being considered only useful for the benefit of the main character, idolized as something that they are not, or that once the main character reaches their “enlightened” stage, the MPDG moves on to the next person who needs their help. -In just the first episode, Chloe has already been fleshed out better than anything other character (rightfully so, as she’s the deuteragonist) besides Max, with enough mystery to carry us through more development and character arcs. She boasts a [mix of abandonment](https://bansheebeat.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/02/Episode-1-Screen-Shot-2015-01-31-23-40-10.png) and [daddy issues](https://bansheebeat.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/02/Episode-1-Screen-Shot-2015-02-05-01-30-46.png), is an assault survivor, and has a seriously dysfunctional home situation. Again, Dontnod treads some dangerous ground here, but has yet to use step in any cringe-worthy manner (that I picked up on, at least). It’s refreshing to see these issues portrayed in a character without them overwhelming or otherwise _defining_ the character. Chloe isn’t interesting because she’s had a rough life; she’s more relatable and realistic for it, but these traits aren’t thrown in carelessly. She’s a character with an immense energy, depth, and charisma. She’s tough and she’s complicated and she refuses to take shit from anyone, even Max. I’ve scarcely seen this level of nuance in female characters, let alone _supporting_ female characters, in video games. +In just the first episode, Chloe has already been fleshed out better than anything other character (rightfully so, as she’s the deuteragonist) besides Max, with enough mystery to carry us through more development and character arcs. She boasts a [mix of abandonment](https://cdn.cassie.ink/images/2015/lis-abandonment.png) and [daddy issues](https://cdn.cassie.ink/images/2015/lis-dad.png), is an assault survivor, and has a seriously dysfunctional home situation. Again, Dontnod treads some dangerous ground here, but has yet to use step in any cringe-worthy manner (that I picked up on, at least). It’s refreshing to see these issues portrayed in a character without them overwhelming or otherwise _defining_ the character. Chloe isn’t interesting because she’s had a rough life; she’s more relatable and realistic for it, but these traits aren’t thrown in carelessly. She’s a character with an immense energy, depth, and charisma. She’s tough and she’s complicated and she refuses to take shit from anyone, even Max. I’ve scarcely seen this level of nuance in female characters, let alone _supporting_ female characters, in video games. Oh, and she’s _probably_ queer, based off of [some of her decorative choices](https://cdn.cassie.ink/images/2015/chloe-posters.png) and her [affectionate descriptions of Rachel](https://cdn.cassie.ink/images/2015/chloe-rachel.png). I’m aware that I have perhaps cultivated a reputation for [assuming most female characters are queer](https://cassie.ink/princess-bubblegum-marceline-still-just-almost-girlfriends/ "Princess Bubblegum & Marceline: Still Just Almost Girlfriends"), even without pre-existing subtext — I don’t deny that. But as infatuated as I am with Chloe, as both a character and for what she represents, I don’t think I’m reaching here. That said, at its heart — without the science-fiction and supernatural elements — _Life is Strange_ is a story of female friendship, how two young women reunite and support one another as they face adulthood. Despite both being rather pragmatic, they acknowledge that _something_ — destiny, perhaps? the butterfly? — brought them together for a reason. It’s no coincidence that Max’s powers appear just in time to save Chloe’s life. Whether romance becomes part of that remains to be seen; even with my inclination to pair off female characters, Max and Chloe’s interactions have been fairly platonic thus far. I’d be delighted to see that change, but equally pleased if Dontnod makes a conscious design to _not_ change it — to instead craft a (female) bildungsroman that doesn’t culminate in romance, and to celebrate female friendship and sisterhood without sexualizing it or its characters. diff --git a/content/posts/Star Wars Has a Problem with Women and We’re Going to Fix It Together.md b/content/posts/Star Wars Has a Problem with Women and We’re Going to Fix It Together.md new file mode 100644 index 0000000..8072bc8 --- /dev/null +++ b/content/posts/Star Wars Has a Problem with Women and We’re Going to Fix It Together.md @@ -0,0 +1,66 @@ +--- +title: Star Wars Has a Problem with Women and We’re Going to Fix It Together +date: 2015-12-14 +url: star-wars-has-a-problem-with-women-and-were-going-to-fix-it-together +tags: + - movies + - star-wars + - wordpress +draft: false +cover: https://cdn.cassie.ink/images/2015/carrie.jpg +--- +Let’s start by making something perfectly clear: I love _Star Wars_. I live and breathe _Star Wars_. They’re some of my favorite movies, games, and comics; I’ve read more than my fair share of _Star Wars_ fanfiction and have, over the years, spent a ludicrous amount of money on merchandise and other paraphernalia. + +When someone, tasked with buying me a gift, asks for ideas, I give them one instruction: if it has _Star Wars_ on it, I’ll like it. + +But even if you’re not as _Star Wars_ obsessed as me (it’s hard, I know) — even if you’ve never seen the films — it’s inescapable, as one of the most popular and beloved film franchises of all time. Even _Star Wars_ Luddites possess an awareness of the major characters, concepts, and plots; _Star Wars_ is a cornerstone of our modern, media-obsessed culture. Yet despite this popularity and its trailblazing approaches to special effects and filming, the _Star Wars_ franchise offers a mixed bag when it comes to the representation of female characters’ visibility and autonomy. + +## Padmé Amidala and the Mystery of the Wasted Potential +Through the six films, women appear in the background and sometimes have a few lines, but even the major female characters (or character – there’s usually only one major woman per film) have little to do compared to her male counterparts. In Episodes I and II, Padmé (Natalie Portman) was a powerful political figure and her position was integral to the larger plot. In _The Phantom Menace_, as Queen Amidala, her and her girl gang of lookalikes (one of which is a young Keira Knightley) fend off the invading Trade Federation and reclaim their planet, Naboo. + +She refuses to be sidelined in the conflict or to remain in safety on Coruscant (against Palpatine’s advice), choosing to independently fight for the freedom of her people. Padmé reaches out to the Gungans, the native people of Naboo, for aid in the Battle of Naboo, uniting them with her people in throwing off their oppressors. Yet she is also conscious of the oppressive colonial history of her people against the Gungans; she proceeds in _Attack of the Clones_ to share her place in the Galactic Senate with a Gungan representative and return to the Gungans their rightful power in Naboo’s political affairs and future. + +Oh, and her outfits are _gorgeous_. I promised myself not to harp on about how beautiful Natalie Portman is, because that’s not the point and she’s not just the eye-candy of the Prequel Trilogy, but one has to respect all the extravagant outfits she dons through the three movies. I’m not usually one for costuming, but when I tried to pick a favorite dress of Padmé’s I ended with five or ten top contenders that I couldn’t choose between. All of them draw from European and Asian traditions, yet mix in a beautifully cohesive _Star Wars_ fashion. It’s amazing, and they definitely suit both Natalie Portman and the character. + +But above all else, Padmé is devoted to public service and democracy, and stands up for these ideals when Palpatine dissolved the Republic to create the Galactic Empire. + +![Padmé in The Phantom Menace, as she regally owns some bitchass Trade Federation schmucks.](https://cdn.cassie.ink/images/2015/padme.jpg) + +Okay, maybe it wasn’t so smart to appoint Jar Jar Binks as a representative in the Republic considering he motioned to appoint Palpatine with emergency powers to combat the Separatist threat (although Palpatine was manipulating almost everyone in the Republic at the time — hence the “thunderous applause”). Maybe her outfits [are a bit absurd sometimes](http://iharthdarth.livejournal.com/4552.html?page=8). And maybe she should have been a little more concerned when Anakin said that dictatorships and totalitarianism are totally OK. Lay off. She’s allowed to make some mistakes. + +> Love can’t save you, Padmé . Only my new powers can. +> +> — Anakin Skywalker, lady-killer (literally), as he strangles a pregnant woman + +Yet in the Prequel Trilogy’s conclusion, _Revenge of the Sith_, her political plotline mysteriously disappears. Deleted scenes from the film show Padmé in meetings with the Delegation of 2000 who, fearing a crumbling democracy, form the beginning of a peaceful rebellion. While remnants of the plotline remain within the film, those that feature Padmé in an active role fell to the cutting room floor – and with them, the ratio of her scenes to those of comparable male characters fell too. She instead becomes a spectator to political debates rather than an active participant, making it not only an issue of visibility (that is, the amount of time she is shown) but also of autonomy. + +Most egregious in showcasing her lack of autonomy in _Revenge of the Sith_ is her death. After Anakin falls to the dark side, Padmé dies because she has “lost the will to live.” The meaning (and issue) here are clear: without a male character and love interest, Padmé has no purpose in the plot, and so she dies. The viewer knew all through the Prequel Trilogy that Padmé probably wouldn’t make it (or that she would suffer some awful fate) given what Leia said in Episode VI and that Luke and Leia were raised as orphans. But her death as Lucas wrote it demotes her to an accessory of the male rather than her own person and seemingly happens only to propel the male character’s plotline: when he learns of Padmé’s death, Anakin loses any remaining shreds of his humanity and becomes Darth Vader. Padmé stands among many other female characters in science-fiction and fantasy films with undeveloped potential and who reinforce the idea that women exist only to serve and to support male-centric plots. + +## Our Daughters’ Daughters Will Adore Us +Conflicting with Padmé’s diminished role, Princess Leia (Carrie Fisher), the principal female character of the Original Trilogy, enjoys much more agency. She, like Padmé, is an important political figure and a central leader in the Rebel Alliance. _A New Hope_ opens, after all, with the Empire’s “sinister agents” taking control of her starship. In all her audacious and valiant glory, Princess Leia stands up to _motherfucking Darth Vader_ and pretends that she’s just a senator on a diplomatic mission to Alderaan, that she totally didn’t just fly through a restricted star system, and definitely isn’t a member of the Rebel Alliance. + +Through the Original Trilogy, Leia often directs and commands both her male counterparts (Han and Luke) as well as the Rebel army.  _A New Hope_, has all the trappings of a classic damsel-in-distress story: with Princess Leia captured by Darth Vader, it’s up to the male characters to rescue her. Yet when they free her from her holding cell, Leia immediately seizes control of the rescue attempt, berating Han and Luke for their incompetence and lack of a plan. + +Characters notice and are annoyed by Leia’s domineering personality, but she’s never shamed for it. Han comes close to telling her to shut up in _Empire Strikes Back_, but only so he can fly them out of the asteroid monster’s mouth that they accidentally landed in (“No time to discuss this with a committee” / “I am not a committee!”). He admires her spirit and sees her not as a princess but as a person (a relationship [that others explore](http://decider.com/2015/05/04/han-solo-star-wars-secret-feminist/) in [more depth](https://noblealice.tumblr.com/post/94473568731/ugh-like-there-is-literally-no-canonical-evidence)). The characters and the audience grow to love and admire Leia for challenging male control and exercising her agency. + +The metal bikini Leia sports in *Return of the Jedi* is one of the franchise’s most famous (or infamous, depending on who you ask) images. She dons it when she’s captured by the gangster Jabba the Hut and becomes his personal slave; the movies never show the parameters of this enslavement, but given the outfit, it’s no stretch to say there is a sexual element to it. "Slave Leia" and Carrie Fisher became something of a sex symbol in the wake of the film. Some "Slave Leia" fanboys may claim the infatuation merely lies with the revealing nature of the outfit and Carrie Fisher’s svelte body, but there are undeniable fantasies of control and domination mixed in (she literally has a chain around her neck). But Star Wars fans have made recent efforts to rebrand "Slave Leia" as "Leia the Hutt Slayer" (a nod to *Buffy the Vampire Slayer*), as, in the film, she overpowers and murders her captor. The plot point then transforms into an empowered woman fighting against objectification and forced sexual submission, and reclaiming her lost autonomy. + +## This Isn’t the Film Franchise You’re Looking for, Sexists. +This is by no means an exhaustive study of women in the _Star Wars_ universe, or even Padmé and Leia, but even this cursory look reveals the series’s burdened relationship with women. Of course, despite the many failings of the franchise to represent women, I am an enormous fan of the series, and I feel it’s not all bad. Growing up, Leia unquestionably influenced me; I loved this powerful, brazen woman who was also allowed to be tender and human, who matched and occasionally superseded her male counterparts. While I take issue with how Padmé is portrayed in _Revenge of the Sith_, before that she is at least allowed to be clever and political. Mostly, it’s upsetting for me that that potential was wasted. + +Perhaps I’m more prone to give _Star Wars_ a pass because I love it, but I feel there are some positive representations of women to be found in the six movies. Happily, Disney seems resolved to remedy that with _The Force Awakens_. The film is still under wraps at the time of writing, and I’ve placed myself in a _Force Awakens_ silo after the second theatrical trailer, but Rey (Daisy Ridley) has been featured prominently in promotional materials and merchandise — and she won’t be shafted like Padmé or Leia [if Carrie Fisher has anything to do about it](http://www.interviewmagazine.com/film/daisy-ridley#page2): + +> **Fisher:** Oh, you’re going to have people have fantasies about you! That will make you uncomfortable, I’m guessing. +> **Ridley:** Yeah, a bit. +> **Fisher:** Have you been asked that? +> **Ridley:** No, they always talk about how you’re a sex symbol, and how do I feel about that. [_Fisher sighs_] I’m not a sex symbol! [_laughs_] +> **Fisher:** Listen! I am not a sex symbol, so that’s an opinion of someone. I don’t share that. +> **Ridley:** I don’t think that’s the right— +> **Fisher:** Word for it? Well, you should fight for your outfit. Don’t be a slave like I was. +> **Ridley:** All right, I’ll fight. +> **Fisher:** You keep fighting against that slave outfit. +> **Ridley:** I will. + +The pervasiveness and popularity of _Star Wars_ poises it to be another dissenting voice against sidelining women in favor of male heroes. There are tons of female fans of the franchise, and portraying women more consistently and positively can only convert a new generation of girls to _Star Wars_ fandom, as well as prove that action movies don’t need rugged, domineering male heroes to succeed; they can, in fact, [actively and explicitly subvert sexist notions](https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2015/may/27/sexists-are-scared-of-mad-max-because-it-is-a-call-to-dismantle-patriarchies). I’m looking forward to _The Force Awakens_ for a lot of reasons, but seeing where Rey falls in the lineage of _Star Wars_ ladies before her falls near the top of my priorities. There’s a solid legacy before her, but one with plenty of room to improve. +___ +*I originally wrote this for an assignment in a Women’s Studies course; I have modified the tone and expanded the content for this blog.* \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/content/week-notes/030.md b/content/week-notes/030.md new file mode 100644 index 0000000..a2efdc6 --- /dev/null +++ b/content/week-notes/030.md @@ -0,0 +1,26 @@ +--- +title: I'm annoying but I plan to change that (WN30) +date: 2025-08-25 +tags: + - week-notes +draft: true +--- +## Doing +I taught my first college class! It went far better than I anticipated; by about half an hour in, I fell into my natural teacher mode and it was smooth sailing from there. I'm excited to work with the kids[^1] and see how I do throughout the semester. I still have deep-seated imposter syndrome about teaching (*adjunct lecturing*) the course on a macro-level, but the day-by-day is at least seeming more feasible. + +For context, the college I'm teaching (*adjunct lecturing*[^2]) at is my alma mater. I transferred there as a junior from community college, and this course is the first one I took there — with a professor who went on to become a mentor and a personal friend. She scared the shit out of me then (she still does) because she is *so good* at what she does, so experienced, and (seemingly) effortlessly incredible as a teacher. The idea that I have to, in some way, fill her shoes — teach her class, in the same room I took it, nine years later — is absolutely terrifying. Who am I to tell these kids how to teach?? I have very lovely friends who have talked me up and assured me that I'll do a great job, but I think I'll never be able to shake the feeling that I'm not doing what she would have (or not doing as good as her). Of course that's ridiculous and I need to be my own person, and it is within this contradiction that I must exist. + +I'm continuing to backport content from an old blog. This week I've added... +* [Here's What I Was Listening to in 2015](https://cassie.ink/heres-what-i-was-listening-to-in-2015) (01-07-2016) +* [Star Wars Has a Problem with Women and We’re Going to Fix It Together](http://cassie.ink/star-wars-has-a-problem-with-women-and-were-going-to-fix-it-together/) (12-14-2015) +## Reading + +## Watching + +## Playing + +## Listening + +[^1]: I've found myself referring to the students as "kids." They're juniors and seniors in college, so probably at most around ten years younger than me. I'm not sure if this is a speech pattern picked up from teaching middle schoolers, who I can safely call kids, or if I'm an old lady now. More on that later. + +[^2]: This gag entertains me and I will continue it all semester. diff --git a/public/heres-what-i-was-listening-to-in-2015/index.html b/public/heres-what-i-was-listening-to-in-2015/index.html new file mode 100644 index 0000000..2a14e9f --- /dev/null +++ b/public/heres-what-i-was-listening-to-in-2015/index.html @@ -0,0 +1,177 @@ + + + + + + + + + +Here’s What I Was Listening to in 2015 | cassie.ink + + + + + + + + + + + +
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Here’s What I Was Listening to in 2015

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As the year closes, naturally I must compile experiences and interests from the period into data and statistics.

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Okay, maybe I’m not being quite that heartless, but last.fm sure makes it easy to indulge that desire. I scrobble (almost) all of my music to last.fm as I enjoy having a record of my listening habits for both reference and analysis. This year I finally found a solid app to do so from my phone, too, though my scrobbles lack what I listen to at work, which is a lot, as well as about half the year of listening on my phone. Therefore, as we head into 2016, I’d like to look back on what I listened to the most in 2015 (not necessarily my favorite releases from the year — my musical discovery process is best described as stumbling across things years after release).

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Cloud Nothings (904 plays)

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In 2015 I returned to the embrace of pop-punk, infused with my newfound affection for noise pop and the authenticity that indie promises. Cloud Nothings’ first two album releases, Turning On (2009) and the self-titled Cloud Nothings (2011), chug along with effortlessly catchy hooks and explosions of distorted sound. Attack on Memory (2012) and Here and Nowhere Else (2014) perhaps lack the charm of earlier releases, opting instead for a more mature alt-rock sound, and I’m partial to the first two for their lightness; it’s indie pop-punk to chill with, that exude a loving and playful fun.

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I discovered them on accident in January of 2015, while browsing through Amazon for some CDs. Here and Nowhere Else showed up as a recommended release and I immediately fell for “Now Hear In,” an ode to commiseration and comfort as Dylan Baldi repeats, “now I can feel your pain, and I feel alright about it.”

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I found my favorite tracks in those early releases (both on Turning On, actually), in “Morgan” and “Whaddya Wanna Know,” which capture the exuberance I associate with Cloud Nothings. “Morgan” repeats the same structure for maximum listener imprint, as a self-aware, disembodied voice chimes in at 2:20, “again and again.” “Whaddya Wanna Know” slows things down a bit, featuring an almost hypnotic chill that climaxes in the chorus’ falsetto. I challenge anyone to walk away from Turning On and Cloud Nothings without at least one hook caught in their brain and a bit more spring in their step.

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Top & Notable Tracks:Rock” (61 plays), “Whaddya Wanna Know” (58 plays), “Now Hear In” (55 plays), “Giving Into Seeing” (52 plays), “Can’t Stay Awake” (41 plays), “On the Radio” (39 plays), “Morgan” (27 plays), “Stay Useless” (22 plays)

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Brand New (728 plays)1

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I guess I remembered that Brand New is one of my favorite groups this past year. I nearly matched all my plays from 2010-2014 in the span of 2015. I went deeper into their discography than I had ever before, both official and unofficial releases. Most significantly, this year marked the first time I heard “Out of Range,” an unreleased track that’s been floating around the internet. It’s a sparse, almost hollow track about detachment and a desire for belonging that haunted me on-and-off for weeks: “Am I a torn up, tattered, worn-out piece of fabric, not suitable to stitch up a rip? / ‘Cause I’d like to be tightly braided, gold and silver bracelets, / The type you like to wear ’round your wrist.” Bonus points for listening to the song at 1.5x speed, which brings out its Modest Mouse vibes and influences.

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This year I also gave Daisy (2009) another chance, after writing it off on my first listen in 2013 as too heavy. It remains a difficult, dark album, but one that I began to digest and admire. The Devil And God Are Raging Inside Me (2006) will always be my favorite Brand New release, but Daisy definitely isn’t the disappointment I first wrote it off as.

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Top & Notable Tracks:Out of Range” (128 plays), “Mene” (45 plays), “Limousine (MS Rebridge)” (35 plays), “Jesus” (29 plays), “Sowing Season (Yeah)” (22 plays), “Noro” (14 plays), “Untitled 02 (Morissey)” (14 plays)

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Perfect Pussy (524 plays)

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I fell in love this year in the backdrop of a Perfect Pussy concert, then another, and then another. I saw them in March at Webster Hall, in September at Riis Park, and then in October at a car wash in Brooklyn. They blew me away each time.

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Perfect Pussy combines riot grrrl frontwoman Meredith Graves with angry, emotive punk. The lyrics smack you with a frank rawness, Graves shouting over distorted instruments “since when do we say yes to love?” in “Interference Fits” off their 2014 release, Say Yes to Love. It would be a crime to frame the group as merely the supporting acts to Meredith Graves, however. Drummer Garrett Koloski put on an incredible show at every concert as he hammered away in fashionable socks (or no shoes at all), guitarist Ray McAndrew went through something like three guitars at Riis Park, and their keyboardist adds a persistent, droning noise to bind songs together. A Perfect Pussy set isn’t x amount of songs; it’s a single, heart-pumping experience.

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Top & Notable Tracks:I” (173 plays), “Interference Fits” (38 plays), “Work” (35 plays), “Bells” (33 plays), “II” (31 plays)

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Pigthe (322 plays)

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I took a journey deep into the internet to find Pigthe. Back in 2009, I found a group called The Middle Ones on Myspace. They’re a sweet little folk-pop group that plays with vocal harmonies, and I listened to them on-and-off for years. These days you can check them out on Bandcamp.

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Anyway, I was browsing a small forum that’s filled with indie music, and a user posted about a Middle Ones cover album, Chants, done by friends of the group, aptly named The Peripheral Ones. The songs offer a nice twist on songs I’ve had in the back of my head for years, particularly their covers of “Drops” and “Young Explorer.” But the crowning song for The Peripheral Ones comes in “Morningtime,” which includes, in their words, “a lyrical interpolation of Super Bass by Nicki Minaj.” Yeah, really.

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It’s a creative and fun album for fans of The Middle Ones, and I’m sure those who have never heard of them can enjoy it too… for free download, via Bandcamp.

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Having loved these covers so much, I set out to find the individuals who contributed to Chants. The Bandcamp page lists a number of Twitter accounts, but the only one that led me to more music was @pigthe. Available on Pigthe’s Bandcamp page are two albums, one free and one name your price, that share charms with The Peripheral Ones, with perhaps a more humored, indie-rock tinge. Check out, for example, the slow-build “Spider-Man” off Welcome Back to Viridian (2011), which opens with “there’s nothing I love more than Spider-Man, / there’s nothing I adore like being sad,” the source of that sadness being the singer’s beef with Marvel’s handling of the Spider-Man character. The song eventually closes with a chant, “it’s stupid what they did to Jackpot, / it was stupid wiping the memory of Mary Jane, / it’s stupid pretty much any time there’s magic involved, / it’s stupid if it’s anywhere near the words ‘Brand New Day’.”

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You can find even more via their website’s discography page.

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Top & Notable Tracks:2-way thing” (28 plays), “Hit Me, Baby” (26 plays), “Fill In The Gaps” (23 plays), “Spider-Man” (21 plays), “International Wallflowers Anthem” (19 plays), “‘orange juice’” (17 plays), “Any Other Name” (14 plays), “hell.” (9 plays)

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Miscellaneous Songs

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Those were some of my top, new (to me) artists for the year, but there a few songs I would be remiss not to mention for my 2015 compilation.

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“Make Out Time” (186 plays) & “Everything Stays” from Adventure Time

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The Adventure Time soundtracks, curated by Casey James Basichis and staypuft, fantastically compliment the (children’s) show’s nuclear fallout, Feudalistic future. “Make Out Time” is a short and sweet track from Season 6’s “Breezy,” in which Finn battles against depression and apathy with random hookups after learning what a disappointing, deadbeat criminal his father is.

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“Everything Stays” hails from the Stakes mini-series; Stakes turns the focus to Marceline the Vampire Queen, who must make peace with her past and her vampirism as she battles against old foes. It’s a dreamy track that grapples with permanence and mortality, complimented by a gentle bass and ambient soundscapes.

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“Cut me out” by Trust Fund (130 plays)

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Ellis Jones released his début album, “No one’s coming for us,” under the Trust Fund moniker in 2014. Trust Fund mashes together indie-rock and pop influences to build a unique track in “Cut me out” that simultaneously feels like every song you’ve heard in the background of a car ride and an absolutely unique collision of cymbals and apologies. Of “Cut me out,” Jones says,

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I wanted this song to sound like Elliot Smith. Stefano’s guitar parts made this into a proper song. The ‘Fragile Alien’ bit I sort of pasted in from a different song so it has a different tune to the first verse. I felt smart when I did that. The lyrics do a lot of twisting around needlessly, but basically the message of the song is “sorry.”

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The song may be contrite (“I’m sorry if I accidentally implied, / I’m sorry if I explicitly promised, / I’m sorry if I swore on lives other than mine, / My cat, my dog, my sister, / I hope they’ll be alright”), but nobody in the video goes without an enormous grin for more than four or five seconds total.

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“Me & U” by Cassie (122 plays)

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My tastes thus far seem rather unified in genre, spanning the broad range of alternative rock with a proclivity in indie. I’ll throw a wrench in the works and introduce my other passion: R&B, pop, and hip-hop throwbacks from the late-90s and early 2000s. Off her self-titled 2006 début, “Me & U” spells out frank desire and sexuality accompanied by a heavy beat. More than a few of my morning commutes to school were spent listening exclusively to this dark, sexy track.

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“Fourth of July” by Sufjan Stevens (82 plays)

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Somehow I’ve gone my entire life, up to this point, without ever listening to a Sufjan song. At the behest of a good friend, I dove into his massive discography and fell in love with the first track that turned up in a playlist she gave me. “Fourth of July” is a simple, heart-wrenching track about the death of Stevens’s mother (which inspired the entirety of his 2015 release, Carrie & Lowell). It grabs and hypnotizes the listener with its sparse piano and looming ambiance as Sufjan repeatedly croons, “we’re all gonna die.”

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“Angels” by The xx (71 plays)

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For whatever reason, it took me three years to check out The xx’s sophomore album, Coexist. It’s a fantastic album that expand the whisper-tunes of their début, but shines in the acclaimed “Angels,” which features their iconic restraint. It manages to mesmerize despite its minimal instrumentation and plain, though heartfelt lyrics: “The end is unknown, / But I think I’m ready, / As long as you’re with me.” It deserves the praise.

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“Lazy Eye” by Silversun Pickups (60 plays)

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In my early teens, I’d pass the time by plopping myself in front of MTV’s station that just plays music videos over and over. Watching it for hours a day, I grew familiar with their lineup, and waited with fervor for them to repeat favorites like Fall Out Boy’s “Sugar, We’re Goin Down” and Relient K’s “Be My Escape.” Among those tracks (though aired far less frequently than Fall Out Boy) was Silversun Pickups’s “Lazy Eye.” I paid it little attention, at the time, but something dragged it out of the recesses of my brain during this past summer.

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The song cloaks itself in a chill strumming and smooth vocals until it peaks at 2:45: “Still the same old decent lazy eye, straight through your gaze / That’s why I said I relate, / I said we relate, it’s so fun to relate.” It’s an ardent, tender track with instantaneous charm and surprise.

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“Cookie Thumper” by Die Antwoord (31 plays)

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I saw Chappie this year. It was fucking weird. I liked it.

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    I wrote this post in 2016 before allegations about Jesse Lacey came out. He is a predator and has no business touring right now. (signed Cassie in 2025) ↩︎

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I'm annoying but I plan to change that (WN30)

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Doing

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I taught my first college class! It went far better than I anticipated; by about half an hour in, I fell into my natural teacher mode and it was smooth sailing from there. I’m excited to work with the kids1 and see how I do throughout the semester. I still have deep-seated imposter syndrome about teaching (adjunct lecturing) the course on a macro-level, but the day-by-day is at least seeming more feasible.

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thinkin' about a little something something in my septum and a couple tattoos (WN29)

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You wouldn't let it eat you wholе (WN29)

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  • Canopies and Drapes: Emmy the Great’s Twist on the Classic Breakup Song (2014-11-09)
  • Princess Bubblegum & Marceline: Still Just Almost Girlfriends (2014-08-14)
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    Sorry for unintentional pings on my rss feed; also, be aware that a lot of these are vey old (like, ten years) and don’t necessarily reflect who I am as a person today! I’m trying to be better about preserving and sharing my writing, so I suppose that means I must submit to the mortifying ordeal of being known. Some of these pieces, while flawed, I am still fond of — particularly the Life is Strange one.

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    Sorry for unintentional pings on my rss feed; also, be aware that a lot of these are very old (like, ten years) and don’t necessarily reflect who I am as a person today! I’m trying to be better about preserving and sharing my writing, so I suppose that means I must submit to the mortifying ordeal of being known. Some of these pieces, while flawed, I am still fond of — particularly the Life is Strange one. I’m planning to do more and eventually close down the blog where they originally appeared (so I can stop maintaining a WordPress install).

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    I'm breaking your fall, you're breaking my ass (week notes 26)

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    I’m teaching (adjunct lecturing) a college class in the fall for the first time. I’m starting to put together my syllabus and lesson plans. I have a lot of resources from the previous professor (who is a friend), but I’m also trying to do my own thing. It’s a lot of work and I’m very stressed about it.

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    I know it’s only just August, but it somehow feels like the summer is already over. It’s the Sunday scaries month of the summer for me, which is ridiculous because who else gets two months off from their job every year? (Aside from, you know, people in civilized countries that get actual vacation days.)

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    Here’s What I Was Listening to in 2015

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    As the year closes, naturally I must compile experiences and interests from the period into data and statistics.

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    Okay, maybe I’m not being quite that heartless, but last.fm sure makes it easy to indulge that desire. I scrobble (almost) all of my music to last.fm as I enjoy having a record of my listening habits for both reference and analysis. This year I finally found a solid app to do so from my phone, too, though my scrobbles lack what I listen to at work, which is a lot, as well as about half the year of listening on my phone. Therefore, as we head into 2016, I’d like to look back on what I listened to the most in 2015 (not necessarily my favorite releases from the year — my musical discovery process is best described as stumbling across things years after release).

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    Star Wars Has a Problem with Women and We’re Going to Fix It Together

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    Let’s start by making something perfectly clear: I love Star Wars. I live and breathe Star Wars. They’re some of my favorite movies, games, and comics; I’ve read more than my fair share of Star Wars fanfiction and have, over the years, spent a ludicrous amount of money on merchandise and other paraphernalia.

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    When someone, tasked with buying me a gift, asks for ideas, I give them one instruction: if it has Star Wars on it, I’ll like it.

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    House of Leaves: Appendix II-E, The Three Attic Whalestoe Institute Letters (May 8th, 1987)

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    I’ve picked up House of Leaves again, Mark Z. Danielewski’s debut novel and veritable puzzle of a book. I previously abandoned it because, as a horror novel, I was having some trouble sleeping after reading it, but I’ve wanted to read it for years and the new year seems like a good time to conquer my fears.

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    There’s plenty of discussion around the internet regarding the book, and plenty more people who, I’m sure, have decoded the book’s many coded messages. But I’m a stingy sort who likes to do things on my own, and I thought I’d log some of it here! The first of my challenges was a letter from Appendix II-E, sent to Johnny Truant from his mother; she suspects that the director of the Whalestoe Institute, where she is institutionalized, is intercepting her letters. She is able to send a private letter to Johnny via an attendant, telling him the key to her next letter: take only the first letter of each word, separate those letters into something coherent, and find her true message (the letter itself is pure nonsense). Therefore, it’s no significant discovery on my part, but more of a fun first challenge. Warning that this is a book of psychological horror, and the contents below may be troubling or triggering (esp. for rape victims).

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    Canopies and Drapes: Emmy the Great’s Twist on the Classic Breakup Song

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    In the music industry, and in the folk genre particular, breakup songs are not exactly uncommon, and for every chart-topping artist crooning over the radio about the throes of love, there are thousands of disconsolate teens pouring over their guitars. For her 2009 Edward EP, England-based singer-songwriter Emma-Lee Moss (stage name Emmy the Great) visits the genre herself; the four included songs are among Emmy’s earliest, though they contain her usual balance of charm and poignancy, more often than not accompanied only by an acoustic strum.

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    House of Leaves: Appendix II-E, The Three Attic Whalestoe Institute Letters (May 8th, 1987)

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    I’ve picked up House of Leaves again, Mark Z. Danielewski’s debut novel and veritable puzzle of a book. I previously abandoned it because, as a horror novel, I was having some trouble sleeping after reading it, but I’ve wanted to read it for years and the new year seems like a good time to conquer my fears.

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    There’s plenty of discussion around the internet regarding the book, and plenty more people who, I’m sure, have decoded the book’s many coded messages. But I’m a stingy sort who likes to do things on my own, and I thought I’d log some of it here! The first of my challenges was a letter from Appendix II-E, sent to Johnny Truant from his mother; she suspects that the director of the Whalestoe Institute, where she is institutionalized, is intercepting her letters. She is able to send a private letter to Johnny via an attendant, telling him the key to her next letter: take only the first letter of each word, separate those letters into something coherent, and find her true message (the letter itself is pure nonsense). Therefore, it’s no significant discovery on my part, but more of a fun first challenge. Warning that this is a book of psychological horror, and the contents below may be troubling or triggering (esp. for rape victims).

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    Canopies and Drapes: Emmy the Great’s Twist on the Classic Breakup Song

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    In the music industry, and in the folk genre particular, breakup songs are not exactly uncommon, and for every chart-topping artist crooning over the radio about the throes of love, there are thousands of disconsolate teens pouring over their guitars. For her 2009 Edward EP, England-based singer-songwriter Emma-Lee Moss (stage name Emmy the Great) visits the genre herself; the four included songs are among Emmy’s earliest, though they contain her usual balance of charm and poignancy, more often than not accompanied only by an acoustic strum.

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    Here’s What I Was Listening to in 2015

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    Revolutions