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cassie 2025-07-18 15:00:05 -04:00
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---
title: Climbing my personal Mount Doom (I finished reading Lord of the Rings)
date: 2025-07-17
date: 2025-07-18
url: finished-lord-of-the-rings
tags:
- literature

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<time datetime="2025-07-17T00:00:00&#43;00:00">July 17, 2025</time>
<h1>cassie.ink is my new home</h1>
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<p>I moved domains, again.</p>
<p>This blog started on bearblog.dev as cassie.land. Bearblog is a great platform, but I <a href="https://cassie.ink/what%27s-this-%28and-how-it-works%29/">wanted a challenge in my life</a>, I guess, so I taught myself to use Hugo and moved to esotericbullshit.net (cassie.land was repurposed for my NAS). I love the esotericbullshit moniker and URL — it makes me laugh — but as it turns out, it&rsquo;s kind of hard to share your link when it contains profanity.<sup id="fnref:1"><a href="#fn:1" class="footnote-ref" role="doc-noteref">1</a></sup> Perhaps that&rsquo;s copium for a growing domain purchasing addiction, but I intend to make this one stick.</p>
<p>I have a long history with blogging. I posted on livejournal from 2007-2012 several times a week, with mundane accounts of my day and fragile mental state<sup id="fnref:2"><a href="#fn:2" class="footnote-ref" role="doc-noteref">2</a></sup>. In 2013, I moved to a private Dreamwidth blog, and then to a WordPress blog in 2014. Each time I moved, I had the compulsion to backport all of my old writing, but I liked the idea of a fresh start — and I felt each time that I was a new, improved version of me with a distinct voice.</p>
<p>But as I plumb through my livejournal archive, I&rsquo;ve realized: wherever I go, I&rsquo;m still myself. And that&rsquo;s the impetus behind <strong>cassie.ink</strong>: no bullshit, no hiding. It&rsquo;s me and my name, and if I get sick of that, we have bigger problems.</p>
<p>I don&rsquo;t know that I have the bravery to bring over <em>all</em> of that old content, but perhaps <em>some</em> of it. I&rsquo;m not sure what that will look like. I admire, for example, Jedda, whose <a href="https://notes.jeddacp.com/archive/?q=flashbackFriday">flashbackFriday series</a> unearths her teenage livejournal entries. Maybe the elegant solution is to backport some of the content with a warning that it&rsquo;s old and I&rsquo;m smarter and wiser and less fucking annoying now?<sup id="fnref:3"><a href="#fn:3" class="footnote-ref" role="doc-noteref">3</a></sup> Import the old content but make it difficult (impossible) to access unless I link to it somewhere else? That&rsquo;s all for me to figure out.</p>
<p>For now — here I am, again, committing to blog, again.<sup id="fnref:4"><a href="#fn:4" class="footnote-ref" role="doc-noteref">4</a></sup></p>
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<p>this is not me censoring myself: I will continue to rampantly write fun words like fuck and shit&#160;<a href="#fnref:1" class="footnote-backref" role="doc-backlink">&#x21a9;&#xfe0e;</a></p>
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<p>I&rsquo;m told that&rsquo;s what the platform is for&#160;<a href="#fnref:2" class="footnote-backref" role="doc-backlink">&#x21a9;&#xfe0e;</a></p>
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<p>most likely&#160;<a href="#fnref:3" class="footnote-backref" role="doc-backlink">&#x21a9;&#xfe0e;</a></p>
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<li id="fn:4">
<p>I also understand hugo and git <em>way</em> better now — turns out that capriciously rebuilding your websites over and over again means you learn something!&#160;<a href="#fnref:4" class="footnote-backref" role="doc-backlink">&#x21a9;&#xfe0e;</a></p>
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@ -15,7 +15,7 @@
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@ -48,12 +48,12 @@
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@ -63,7 +63,7 @@
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@ -72,7 +72,7 @@
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@ -2,10 +2,10 @@
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@ -15,7 +15,7 @@
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@ -92,12 +92,12 @@
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@ -107,7 +107,7 @@
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@ -116,7 +116,7 @@
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@ -4,6 +4,7 @@
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font-display:swap;
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@ -11,6 +12,7 @@
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@ -18,6 +20,7 @@
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font-style: italic;
font-display:swap;
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@ -25,6 +28,7 @@
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@ -32,6 +36,7 @@
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@ -40,6 +45,7 @@
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@ -47,6 +53,7 @@
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@ -54,6 +61,7 @@
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@ -284,6 +284,10 @@ nav ul {
display: none;
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max-width: 100%;
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text-decoration: none;

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@ -14,18 +14,24 @@
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<h1>dad</h1>
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<time datetime="2024-12-29T00:00:00&#43;00:00">December 29, 2024</time>
<h1>dad</h1>
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dad
</div>
<p>My father left when I was six and never stopped leaving. At school events, scheduled visits, personal lows, I scanned the crowd for his face and didn&rsquo;t find it. I grew used to his absence and started to resent the appearances he made; when he did show up, I&rsquo;d wish he hadn&rsquo;t. At my college graduation, he parted with the gift, &ldquo;I&rsquo;m glad you&rsquo;re not a fuck up like me,&rdquo; turning my achievements into his own deluded, narcissistic pursuit of sympathy. He at least — and unwittingly — stumbled upon a truth: I succeeded despite his example and influence. Never because of it.</p>
</article>
<time datetime="2024-12-29T00:00:00&#43;00:00">December 29, 2024</time>
<p>My father left when I was six and never stopped leaving. At school events, scheduled visits, personal lows, I scanned the crowd for his face and didn&rsquo;t find it. I grew used to his absence and started to resent the appearances he made; when he did show up, I&rsquo;d wish he hadn&rsquo;t. At my college graduation, he parted with the gift, &ldquo;I&rsquo;m glad you&rsquo;re not a fuck up like me,&rdquo; turning my achievements into his own deluded, narcissistic pursuit of sympathy. He at least — and unwittingly — stumbled upon a truth: I succeeded despite his example and influence. Never because of it.</p>
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<time datetime="2025-07-18T00:00:00&#43;00:00">July 18, 2025</time>
<h1>Climbing my personal Mount Doom (I finished reading Lord of the Rings)</h1>
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<p>Peter Jackson&rsquo;s <em>The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring</em> released in 2001, when I was seven years old. At the time, my media diet consisted mostly of watching <em>The Powerpuff Girls</em> and obsessively reading and re-reading the first four <em>Harry Potter</em> books.<sup id="fnref:1"><a href="#fn:1" class="footnote-ref" role="doc-noteref">1</a></sup> I would like to say that my father was thoughtful and felt that I would have enjoyed another fantasy series with wizards and magic but knew that a three-plus-hour theater experience was tall ask for a seven year old. Unfortunately, I know him, and I think it more likely that he is cheap and thought the movie looked cool, so when <em>Fellowship</em> released on home media, we trucked to the neighborhood knock-off Blockbuster and rented it on VHS. That night, I crowded with my two older siblings around a (by today&rsquo;s standards) laughably small tube TV and tucked in with no expectations or understanding of what the movie would be about.</p>
<p>I would like to say that I was surprised and delighted by the mystical adventure, high fantasy setting, and well-sketched characters. Instead I was terrified by the scant glimpses of Gollum and suffered the first sleepless night inspired by a movie I can recall.<sup id="fnref:2"><a href="#fn:2" class="footnote-ref" role="doc-noteref">2</a></sup> I doubt I understood much of the plot: the only impressions I can recall are &ldquo;swords and magic are cool&rdquo; and &ldquo;maybe Dad should be screening these movies before he shows them to us.&rdquo;<sup id="fnref:3"><a href="#fn:3" class="footnote-ref" role="doc-noteref">3</a></sup></p>
<p><em>Lord of the Rings</em>-mania, of course, consumed the early 2000s, and I became ever-so-slightly less of a chickenshit. My siblings and I were obsessed with the films; we watched them obsessively and anxiously awaited each release. I don&rsquo;t remember seeing <em>Two Towers</em> for the first time (though the scene of Aragorn opening the doors to Helms Deep is etched in my brain as a core memory), but we saw <em>Return of the King</em> in theaters. My dad took us, and I also spent a sleepless night after seeing that one, but my insomnia stemmed instead from violent puking fits after consuming way too much popcorn and Sierra Mist.<sup id="fnref:4"><a href="#fn:4" class="footnote-ref" role="doc-noteref">4</a></sup></p>
<p>At some point, my brother picked up the books to read. He and I both were avid young readers — again, at that point, mostly of <em>Harry Potter</em> and the ilk<sup id="fnref:5"><a href="#fn:5" class="footnote-ref" role="doc-noteref">5</a></sup> — and I can remember him spoiling the ending of <em>Return of the King</em> for me before the movie came out. Upon finishing the &ldquo;Mount Doom&rdquo; chapter, he excitedly asked me if I wanted to know how the series ended. I dithered, and he announced that the Ring was destroyed when Gollum took it from Frodo then fell into the cracks of Mount Doom.<sup id="fnref:6"><a href="#fn:6" class="footnote-ref" role="doc-noteref">6</a></sup> <em>That&rsquo;s stupid,</em> I thought, hoping for a more epic conclusion to the saga.</p>
<p>I had tried around age 10 to read the books, too — I started with <em>Fellowship</em> and skipped what I saw as the &ldquo;boring&rdquo; chapters (&ldquo;Tom Bombadil,&rdquo; &ldquo;The Council of Elrond,&rdquo;<sup id="fnref:7"><a href="#fn:7" class="footnote-ref" role="doc-noteref">7</a></sup> and probably a good deal of the ending that didn&rsquo;t involve sword fights). I tried <em>Two Towers</em> a few times after, which I insisted was the best in the series<sup id="fnref:8"><a href="#fn:8" class="footnote-ref" role="doc-noteref">8</a></sup>, but never made it more than halfway through.</p>
<p>I am here over twenty years later to correct the thought crimes and dishonesty of my childhood self: over the last decade, I have achieved a longstanding personal mission to, at last, read through all of — and skip no chapters in — <em>The Lord of the Rings.</em></p>
<p>In my teen and young adult years, I remained an avid fan of the movies — my partner and I bonded over watching them in our early relationship, but I would always have to reveal my secret shame in never actually cracking the covers of the books (especially as I attended college as an English and Education dual major). When I started subbing, then teaching, I knew I had to finish the books, as I could not submit myself to the mockery of twelve-year-olds who <em>had</em> read the books.</p>
<p>I picked up <em>Fellowship</em> in probably 2018 or 2019 and breezed through it with relative ease,<sup id="fnref:9"><a href="#fn:9" class="footnote-ref" role="doc-noteref">9</a></sup> with a few resolutions:</p>
<ol>
<li>I would read every chapter, even if they were boring. (Sorry, Tom Bombadil.<sup id="fnref:10"><a href="#fn:10" class="footnote-ref" role="doc-noteref">10</a></sup>)</li>
<li>I would read other things in between, to avoid burnout.</li>
<li>I would skim or mostly skip the songs, which are also mostly boring and could, with a few exceptions, be edited out without any detriment to the reader&rsquo;s experience.<sup id="fnref:11"><a href="#fn:11" class="footnote-ref" role="doc-noteref">11</a></sup></li>
</ol>
<p>I continued on through <em>Two Towers</em> and began to feel fatigue — I think this is less of a controversial take, but Tolkien needed an editor to help him better discover the balance between legitimate world-building and shit for nerds that should be relegated to footnotes and appendices. At one point, in the middle of the &ldquo;Helm&rsquo;s Deep&rdquo; chapter — arguably the major climax of Aragorn&rsquo;s plot in Book Three — I fell asleep while reading and it was not late at night. I took a few years&rsquo; break from the series after that, as I become busier and busier in my day job my patience eroded for reading about another field or flower or bloodline for pages upon pages.</p>
<p>This year, however, as <a href="https://cassie.ink/week-notes/015/">part of my resolution to read more</a>, I was at my local bookshop and spotted a copy of <em>Return of the King</em>.<sup id="fnref:12"><a href="#fn:12" class="footnote-ref" role="doc-noteref">12</a></sup> I added it to my bag, started the book in probably May of this year, and finally finished it this week.<sup id="fnref:13"><a href="#fn:13" class="footnote-ref" role="doc-noteref">13</a></sup></p>
<p>I will plant my flag and say that I think <em>Return of the King</em> the best in the series; Tolkien beautifully weaves the interlaced narrative together here, which has enough tension and intersection to bear me through his purple prose about nature and unflagging world building with only minor grumbling. What especially struck me, however, was Frodo and Sam&rsquo;s harrowing journey across Mordor — it was here that Tolkien&rsquo;s penchant for detail clicked for me, as the reader is treated to an arduous accounting of every drop of water, every crumb of bread that Sam rations (and goes without) across the ashy wastelands of Mordor. By comparison, the destruction of the Ring seems to pas with relatively little fanfare. The movies portray it (and all) with bombastic melodrama (affectionate), from Sam&rsquo;s protestation that he will carry Frodo the rest of the way to his rescue of Frodo as he dangles bloodily from a cliff above the fires of Mount Doom. The book instead centers Sam&rsquo;s limited view of the events: he enters the cavern well after Frodo and sees Frodo slip on the Ring. The affair unfolds briskly from there (or perhaps it seems so when juxtaposed with the overwrought nature of Tolkien&rsquo;s prose to that point). Indeed, the destruction of the Ring is communicated to the reader in just a few short sentences after Gollum bites off Frodo&rsquo;s finger:</p>
<blockquote>
<p>&lsquo;Precious, precious, precious!&rsquo; Gollum cried. &lsquo;My Precious! O my Precious!&rsquo; And with that, even as his eyes were lifted up to gloat on his prize, he stepped too far, toppled, wavered for a moment on the brink, and then with a shriek he fell. Out of the depths came his last wail <em>Precious</em>, and he was gone.</p></blockquote>
<p>I am sure there is scholarship here on Tolkien&rsquo;s choice in portraying the events — it certainly serves his other narrative themes to portray the actual <em>destruction</em> of the Ring as relatively minor compared to the journey to get there. Still, it&rsquo;s almost comedic in how quickly and (intentionally) ridiculously it unfolds: not with some grand act of courage — that part is already passed — but with the folly of Gollum.</p>
<p>One familiar with the movies might think this the relative end of the major events of <em>Return of the King</em>, not so: I knew the infamy of &ldquo;The Scouring of the Shire&rdquo; as an anti-climax and was excited to at last polish of the series, so I dreaded the approach of the chapter. While elements of it, too, are ridiculous (Sharkey, mainly), and less intentionally so than Gollum&rsquo;s demise, its thematic importance looms large: Frodo&rsquo;s anti-hero&rsquo;s journey (in the Campbellian sense). Instead of pursuing and gaining a treasure as the classic heroes do, Frodo&rsquo;s journey is instead the <em>destruction</em> of one. How, then, does Frodo achieve transformation into a better version of himself? &ldquo;The Scouring of the Shire&rdquo; explores what lies in the wake of war and victory, acknowledging the long process of rebuilding (on a macro-level, for Middle-earth as a whole) and rebirth (on a micro-level, for Frodo internally) that come after.</p>
<p>The Scouring echoes Odysseus&rsquo;s return to Ithaca and slaughter of the suitors, in many ways, to reclaim his throne, his wife, and his power, but where Odysseus enacts violent and bloody revenge, Frodo lays down all arms and implores others to do the same. Tolkien is not entirely committed to a pacifistic message, of course — that would be an inconsistent message after nearly 1000 pages of grand battles and acts of heroism on the battlefield — Frodo draws no blade, but Merry and Pippin do, which the narrative seems to acknowledge as a necessity in reclaiming the Shire. But while Odysseus&rsquo;s brutality in reclaiming his kingdom is key to his ending — he shows his valor, even in old age and hardship, and an ally of the Gods — Frodo&rsquo;s denouncement of revenge completes an idealistic vision of moral good: Frodo has witnessed and been tempted toward wretched, absolute power and turned against it.</p>
<p>Of course, Frodo is also transformed from the trauma of his journey. From the forward of <em>Fellowship</em> onward, I found ludicrous Tolkien&rsquo;s dogged insistence that the books have nothing to do with his experiences in war or the cultural milieu in which they were written. Frodo&rsquo;s trauma is the plainest acknowledgement of this influence. I do not pretend to know Tolkien, his life or his biography, but Frodo&rsquo;s anguish and inability to fully heal rings as one of the most realistic aspects of the series, grounding high fantasy in the painfully human. Even after the Shire is reclaimed, Frodo is haunted by all that he has seen and felt; he is ill and bedridden on the anniversaries of Weathertop and Mount Doom, psychosomatic (or perhaps mystical — this is <em>Lord of the Rings</em>, after all) anniversary reactions. This pairs beautifully with the hopeful and triumphant end of the Scouring episode: the reader experiences joy and celebration in seeing good and beauty restored to the Shire but catharsis through</p>
<div class="footnotes" role="doc-endnotes">
<hr>
<ol>
<li id="fn:1">
<p>fuck J.K. Rowling; safety, dignity, and health care to all trans people&#160;<a href="#fnref:1" class="footnote-backref" role="doc-backlink">&#x21a9;&#xfe0e;</a></p>
</li>
<li id="fn:2">
<p>other media that went on to gain this distinction, in no particular order: <em>The Amityville Horror</em> (the Ryan Reynolds one) <em>The Grudge</em> (the Sarah Jessica Parker one), <em>Scary Movie 3</em> (yes, really), the movie adaptation of <em>The Road</em>, the Giant Bomb playthrough of <em>PT</em>, a screenshot of the basement scene in <em>The Blair Witch Project</em>.&#160;<a href="#fnref:2" class="footnote-backref" role="doc-backlink">&#x21a9;&#xfe0e;</a></p>
</li>
<li id="fn:3">
<p>I question most of my father&rsquo;s life decisions, but as they pertain to movies and this post, I can offer another example: <em>Dick</em> (1999), a retelling of the Watergate scandal that, if I remember correctly, contains numerous jokes and innuendos about the title and &ldquo;Deep Throat.&rdquo; I watched this with my dad probably around the same time we saw <em>Fellowship.</em>&#160;<a href="#fnref:3" class="footnote-backref" role="doc-backlink">&#x21a9;&#xfe0e;</a></p>
</li>
<li id="fn:4">
<p>I have not drank Sierra Mist since this experience. Of note also is that my brother and sister had severe fevers that day; my dad still took them to the multiplex for a four-hour movie.&#160;<a href="#fnref:4" class="footnote-backref" role="doc-backlink">&#x21a9;&#xfe0e;</a></p>
</li>
<li id="fn:5">
<p>By which I mean other contemporary children&rsquo;s and young adult literature. I can remember a lot of nights staying up late reading <em>A Series of Unfortunate Events</em>, Garth Nix&rsquo;s <em>Keys to the Kingdom</em> series, <em>Eragon,</em> and so on.&#160;<a href="#fnref:5" class="footnote-backref" role="doc-backlink">&#x21a9;&#xfe0e;</a></p>
</li>
<li id="fn:6">
<p>Den, I forgive you.&#160;<a href="#fnref:6" class="footnote-backref" role="doc-backlink">&#x21a9;&#xfe0e;</a></p>
</li>
<li id="fn:7">
<p>It&rsquo;s no wonder my brother had to constantly explain the plot and the lore to me while we watched the movies.&#160;<a href="#fnref:7" class="footnote-backref" role="doc-backlink">&#x21a9;&#xfe0e;</a></p>
</li>
<li id="fn:8">
<p>Imagine my disappointment when I found that Legolas indeed did <em>not</em> surf on an orc&rsquo;s shield down a set of stairs during the Battle of Helm&rsquo;s Deep in the books. I am since converted to a <em>Return of the King</em> sicko.&#160;<a href="#fnref:8" class="footnote-backref" role="doc-backlink">&#x21a9;&#xfe0e;</a></p>
</li>
<li id="fn:9">
<p>I am proud to announce that I am a better reader in my late twenties and early thirties than I was at 10.&#160;<a href="#fnref:9" class="footnote-backref" role="doc-backlink">&#x21a9;&#xfe0e;</a></p>
</li>
<li id="fn:10">
<p>I realize I am opening myself to the censure of the Tolkien fandom with this. I understand the <em>textual</em> importance of Bombadil, but I stand by that the experience of reading that chapter is drudgery. If you have strong feelings about this, please send your thoughts and complaints to <a href="mailto:idontgiveafuck@shoveitupyourass.com">idontgiveafuck@shoveitupyourass.com</a>.&#160;<a href="#fnref:10" class="footnote-backref" role="doc-backlink">&#x21a9;&#xfe0e;</a></p>
</li>
<li id="fn:11">
<p>Again, if you have strong feelings about this, see the previous footnote.&#160;<a href="#fnref:11" class="footnote-backref" role="doc-backlink">&#x21a9;&#xfe0e;</a></p>
</li>
<li id="fn:12">
<p>This was probably around the same time that I was pretending to read <em>Villette.</em>&#160;<a href="#fnref:12" class="footnote-backref" role="doc-backlink">&#x21a9;&#xfe0e;</a></p>
</li>
<li id="fn:13">
<p>May and June are my most hectic months as a teacher (aside from maybe September), so I was really only reading it in a concentrated fashion from late-June into July.&#160;<a href="#fnref:13" class="footnote-backref" role="doc-backlink">&#x21a9;&#xfe0e;</a></p>
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<article>
<time>
1 December 2024
17 July 2025
</time>
<h2><a href="/an-ode-to-gitsync/">an ode to gitsync</a></h2>
<h2><a href="/cassie-ink-is-my-new-home/">cassie.ink is my new home</a></h2>
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an-ode-to-gitsync
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<p>Since I <a href="https://cassie.ink/what%27s-this-%28and-how-it-works%29/">moved this site to Hugo</a>, I&rsquo;ve been using an app called GitJournal to post from my phone. I have a beautiful desk setup with a clacky mechanical keyboard that&rsquo;s a joy to write on, but the simple fact is that I&rsquo;m a lazy shit and want to update my blog from the couch. It&rsquo;s all mostly worked fine, with some headaches. I originally intended to use GitJournal to store my Github repo to my phone&rsquo;s filesystem and then point an Obsidian<sup id="fnref:1"><a href="#fn:1" class="footnote-ref" role="doc-noteref">1</a></sup> vault at that.</p>
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<article>
<time>
7 November 2024
</time>
<h2><a href="/reflections-on-elections/">Reflections on elections</a></h2>
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reflections-on-elections
</div>
<p>2016 was the first year I was eligible to vote in a presidential election. I was away at college, so I completed an absentee ballot, and, like most, felt confident in what I thought would be the result. I was no big fan of Clinton&rsquo;s — I voted for Bernie in the primaries — but the other option was laughable: I couldn&rsquo;t believe that a major political party put such a clown up as their candidate, and I thought the electorate was smart enough to see him for the fraud (and fascist) he was.</p>
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<a href="/tags/life/">Life</a>
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<a href="/tags/politics/">Politics</a>
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<article>
<time>
28 August 2024
</time>
<h2><a href="/write-brief/">Automattic&#39;s Write Brief is, unsurprisingly, full of shit</a></h2>
<div class="barcode">
write-brief
</div>
<p>Automattic <a href="https://techcrunch.com/2024/08/07/automattic-launches-ai-writing-tool-that-aims-to-make-wordpress-blogs-more-readable-and-succinct/">recently launched their Write Brief AI assistant</a> for folks using Jetpack with WordPress.<sup id="fnref:1"><a href="#fn:1" class="footnote-ref" role="doc-noteref">1</a></sup> It is automatically available to anyone using wordpress.com, which I verified by logging into my 14-year-old account.</p>
<p>I decided to test it out on my recent post about <em>The Basic Eight</em>. I chose this because it&rsquo;s one of my more recent posts that isn&rsquo;t #week-notes . I pasted it directly into the Gutenberg editor with all of the AI settings toggled on.</p>
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<a href="/tags/tech/">Tech</a>
</li>
<li>
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<a href="/tags/internet/">Internet</a>
</li>
<li>
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<a href="/tags/ai/">Ai</a>
</li>
</ul>
</div>
</article>
<article>
<time>
28 August 2024
</time>
<h2><a href="/what%27s-this-%28and-how-it-works%29/">what&#39;s this? (and how it works)</a></h2>
<div class="barcode">
what&#39;s-this-(and-how-it-works)
</div>
<p>Welcome to cassie.ink, the new home of my blog and web stuff.</p>
<p>Previously, this blog was hosted at bearblog under the domain cassie.land. Now, I&rsquo;m using the SSG Hugo to create the site, which deploys to Github Pages for hosting.</p>
<p><strong>So why the move?</strong> I love bearblog and recommend it to just about anyone who wants to get into blogging and the small web — it&rsquo;s dead simple for folks with no web expertise, it has an awesome community, and the discover page allows you to share your content and connect with folks also using the platform. Unfortunately, I am, at heart, a tinkerer — bearblog felt a little <em>too</em> easy, and a little limiting for some of the visions I have. And, ultimately, I just want to <strong>own my content</strong> and <strong>embrace new technologies and challenges</strong>.</p>
<p>I moved domains, again.</p>
<p>This blog started on bearblog.dev as cassie.land. Bearblog is a great platform, but I <a href="https://cassie.ink/what%27s-this-%28and-how-it-works%29/">wanted a challenge in my life</a>, I guess, so I taught myself to use Hugo and moved to esotericbullshit.net (cassie.land was repurposed for my NAS). I love the esotericbullshit moniker and URL — it makes me laugh — but as it turns out, it&rsquo;s kind of hard to share your link when it contains profanity.<sup id="fnref:1"><a href="#fn:1" class="footnote-ref" role="doc-noteref">1</a></sup> Perhaps that&rsquo;s copium for a growing domain purchasing addiction, but I intend to make this one stick.</p>
<div class="tags">
<ul>
@ -148,22 +67,82 @@
<article>
<time>
17 August 2024
23 February 2025
</time>
<h2><a href="/the-basic-eight/">I finished The Basic Eight and I can&#39;t decide if I enjoyed it</a></h2>
<h2><a href="/week-notes/024/">listen to my story (week notes 024)</a></h2>
<div class="barcode">
the-basic-eight
</div>
<p>Spoilers to follow.</p>
<p>I wrote in my week notes:</p>
<blockquote>
<p><strong><em>The Basic Eight</em> by Daniel Handler.</strong> Handler&rsquo;s <em>Adverbs</em> is often what I cite when folks ask what my favorite book is, and I loved <em>Watch Your Mouth</em>, too. I need light reprieves from <em>The Odyssey</em>, too, so this seemed an excellent time to round out my reading of Handler&rsquo;s bibliography. I&rsquo;m about halfway through and enraptured by the narrative voice. It&rsquo;s pretentious, as a story narrated by a precocious high school senior should be, without being cloying, and with Handler&rsquo;s charming humor throughout. I love it so far and have faith that the feeling will continue. I normally hate books set in high school, but this one takes me back to my high school self — somehow, in a good way, which I don&rsquo;t think I&rsquo;ve ever felt before.</p>
<p>I&rsquo;ve missed a few weeks, so consider this my catch up post before starting my week notes up again&hellip;</p>
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<a href="/tags/literature/">Literature</a>
<a href="/tags/week-notes/">Week-Notes</a>
</li>
</ul>
</div>
</article>
<article>
<time>
2 February 2025
</time>
<h2><a href="/week-notes/023/">dancing around the subject &#39;til my legs hurt (week notes 23)</a></h2>
<div class="barcode">
</div>
finishing Euphoria instead of reading classic literature
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<a href="/tags/week-notes/">Week-Notes</a>
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</article>
<article>
<time>
26 January 2025
</time>
<h2><a href="/week-notes/022/">I need love, can you get to me now? (week notes 022)</a></h2>
<div class="barcode">
</div>
I bought a space heater so I can feel like I am in hell where I belong
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<a href="/tags/week-notes/">Week-Notes</a>
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<article>
<time>
19 January 2025
</time>
<h2><a href="/week-notes/021/">she knows I love my cereal (week notes 21)</a></h2>
<div class="barcode">
</div>
<p>I recently discovered some weirdness with my hard drives in my PC. It&rsquo;s a long story that isn&rsquo;t worth telling, but the end of it is that I bought an NVMe drive and am starting fresh with a clean install of Windows. It&rsquo;s fairly painless now that I have a drive that&rsquo;s <em>just</em> my files with a separate OS drive. I do have to reinstall and set up some apps again, but it has been a good opportunity to reassess the cruft I&rsquo;ve let build up on there over the years.</p>
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<a href="/tags/week-notes/">Week-Notes</a>
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@ -172,7 +151,7 @@
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@ -116,12 +116,12 @@
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@ -106,7 +106,7 @@
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@ -121,7 +121,7 @@
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<time datetime="2024-11-25T23:56:38-05:00">November 25, 2024</time>
<time datetime="2024-11-25T23:56:38-05:00">November 25, 2024</time>
<h1></h1>
<p>My thirtieth birthday party, the day before my actual turn from one decade to the next, was a beautiful night. My mom, both pre-emptively staking out her territory as an Italian-American grandmother and (past but an adverb?) fulfilling regrets at never having been able to throw me a childhood party, brought too much food and snacks and love — or staying up and out past the early afternoon, which is a kind of love for us; my friends, older than me in years and with busy families and schedules, brought wisdom and comfort in growing older gracefully; and my friends closer in age drove great distances to celebrate <em>me</em> — or at least, with me.</p>
<div class="barcode">
</div>
<p>My thirtieth birthday party, the day before my actual turn from one decade to the next, was a beautiful night. My mom, both pre-emptively staking out her territory as an Italian-American grandmother and (past but an adverb?) fulfilling regrets at never having been able to throw me a childhood party, brought too much food and snacks and love — or staying up and out past the early afternoon, which is a kind of love for us; my friends, older than me in years and with busy families and schedules, brought wisdom and comfort in growing older gracefully; and my friends closer in age drove great distances to celebrate <em>me</em> — or at least, with me.</p>
<p>The actual day passed uneventfully, cleaning and resting from the festivities, alone and at home with Joe. As the night wore on, however, I noticed, with (something something - mixed alarm, absence, desparation, and a painful normalcy) that I hadn&rsquo;t heard from my dad, and I was suddenly borne ceaselessly back into the past.</p>
<p>After years of baggage and mixed-up emptions, ups and downs, I&rsquo;ve entered a maintenance phase in my relationship with him: I maintain the most tenuous connection I possibly can while his mother, my grandmother, is still alive, and I have planned to sever those last vestiges when she passed. I&rsquo;ve entertained fleeting fancies on what would happen when <em>he</em> goes — how I would find out, how I would react, if I would even bother to attend or instead seize it as an opportunity to enact my triumphant revenge by never showing up.</p>
<p>And yet, and yet, despite years of receiving a call on the wrong birthday, I&rsquo;m back in the second grade, at an in-school Father&rsquo;s Day celebration, waiting, waiting for any sign; mixed gratitude and crushing disappointment to see my maternal grandfather in my dad&rsquo;s stead; and sunk lower by every playground busy-bpdy asking why my dad was so old and having to explain that it&rsquo;s not actually my perfectly hale and hearty dad, who simply did not show up. I&rsquo;m back in the schoolyard waiting for him — late again — to pick us up for his agreed upon custodial visits, so late the sun starts to set and a worried teacher contacts home seeing three abandoned kids who are realizing, slowly, that they are not important to their father. I&rsquo;m back at my high school graduation and not bothering to invite him because I have almost two decades of experience to know the outcome, to know it&rsquo;s better than to set myself up for disappointment by expecting him to show. I&rsquo;m back at my college graduation, a tremendous, back-breaking accomplishment, shocked to see him show up but wishing he hadn&rsquo;t as he makes it about himself: &ldquo;I&rsquo;m glad to see you&rsquo;re not a fuck up like me.&rdquo;</p>
@ -50,12 +61,51 @@
<p>People say girls look for their fathers in their partners. I&rsquo;ve looked for the opposite. Joe is always gentle, always patient — the kind to drop everything just to be there for a friend in need. When I asked him if I had any mannerisms he thought I might pass along, he laughed and responded with a list, paramount upon which was my passion. He recalled nights at the movie theater sitting in a mostly one-sided conversation, listening to me monologue about some esoteric music bullshit and falling in love.</p>
<p>I hope for my children from me passion and devotion; that they stick wholeheartedly to that which — and <em>who</em> — they care about. I wish for them the softness that comes from having two parents who make them feel loved, valued, important.</p>
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<time>
17 July 2025
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<h2><a href="/cassie-ink-is-my-new-home/">cassie.ink is my new home</a></h2>
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cassie-ink-is-my-new-home
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<p>I moved domains, again.</p>
<p>This blog started on bearblog.dev as cassie.land. Bearblog is a great platform, but I <a href="https://cassie.ink/what%27s-this-%28and-how-it-works%29/">wanted a challenge in my life</a>, I guess, so I taught myself to use Hugo and moved to esotericbullshit.net (cassie.land was repurposed for my NAS). I love the esotericbullshit moniker and URL — it makes me laugh — but as it turns out, it&rsquo;s kind of hard to share your link when it contains profanity.<sup id="fnref:1"><a href="#fn:1" class="footnote-ref" role="doc-noteref">1</a></sup> Perhaps that&rsquo;s copium for a growing domain purchasing addiction, but I intend to make this one stick.</p>
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1 December 2024
@ -147,30 +169,6 @@
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17 August 2024
</time>
<h2><a href="/the-basic-eight/">I finished The Basic Eight and I can&#39;t decide if I enjoyed it</a></h2>
<div class="barcode">
the-basic-eight
</div>
<p>Spoilers to follow.</p>
<p>I wrote in my week notes:</p>
<blockquote>
<p><strong><em>The Basic Eight</em> by Daniel Handler.</strong> Handler&rsquo;s <em>Adverbs</em> is often what I cite when folks ask what my favorite book is, and I loved <em>Watch Your Mouth</em>, too. I need light reprieves from <em>The Odyssey</em>, too, so this seemed an excellent time to round out my reading of Handler&rsquo;s bibliography. I&rsquo;m about halfway through and enraptured by the narrative voice. It&rsquo;s pretentious, as a story narrated by a precocious high school senior should be, without being cloying, and with Handler&rsquo;s charming humor throughout. I love it so far and have faith that the feeling will continue. I normally hate books set in high school, but this one takes me back to my high school self — somehow, in a good way, which I don&rsquo;t think I&rsquo;ve ever felt before.</p>
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@ -44,6 +44,30 @@
<article>
<time>
17 August 2024
</time>
<h2><a href="/the-basic-eight/">I finished The Basic Eight and I can&#39;t decide if I enjoyed it</a></h2>
<div class="barcode">
the-basic-eight
</div>
<p>Spoilers to follow.</p>
<p>I wrote in my week notes:</p>
<blockquote>
<p><strong><em>The Basic Eight</em> by Daniel Handler.</strong> Handler&rsquo;s <em>Adverbs</em> is often what I cite when folks ask what my favorite book is, and I loved <em>Watch Your Mouth</em>, too. I need light reprieves from <em>The Odyssey</em>, too, so this seemed an excellent time to round out my reading of Handler&rsquo;s bibliography. I&rsquo;m about halfway through and enraptured by the narrative voice. It&rsquo;s pretentious, as a story narrated by a precocious high school senior should be, without being cloying, and with Handler&rsquo;s charming humor throughout. I love it so far and have faith that the feeling will continue. I normally hate books set in high school, but this one takes me back to my high school self — somehow, in a good way, which I don&rsquo;t think I&rsquo;ve ever felt before.</p>
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<a href="/tags/literature/">Literature</a>
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<article>
<time>
8 August 2024
@ -158,35 +182,6 @@
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<time>
10 March 2024
</time>
<h2><a href="/moving-my-home-server-to-a-new-chassis/">Moving my home server to a new chassis</a></h2>
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moving-my-home-server-to-a-new-chassis
</div>
<p>I have a home server (running Unraid) that I use to backup computers, as media storage, and to run various apps. It&rsquo;s mostly been cobbled together from used parts I found for cheap, and it generally followed <a href="https://forums.serverbuilds.net/t/guide-nas-killer-4-0-fast-quiet-power-efficient-and-flexible-starting-at-125/667">Serverbuild&rsquo;s NAS Killer 4 guide</a>. It runs like a dream, and putting it together is one of the best decisions I&rsquo;ve ever made. More recently, with streaming sites like Netflix, Hulu, etc. cracking down on password sharing, it has become my pathway to shedding some monthly subscriptions and owning my own media.</p>
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@ -44,6 +44,35 @@
<article>
<time>
10 March 2024
</time>
<h2><a href="/moving-my-home-server-to-a-new-chassis/">Moving my home server to a new chassis</a></h2>
<div class="barcode">
moving-my-home-server-to-a-new-chassis
</div>
<p>I have a home server (running Unraid) that I use to backup computers, as media storage, and to run various apps. It&rsquo;s mostly been cobbled together from used parts I found for cheap, and it generally followed <a href="https://forums.serverbuilds.net/t/guide-nas-killer-4-0-fast-quiet-power-efficient-and-flexible-starting-at-125/667">Serverbuild&rsquo;s NAS Killer 4 guide</a>. It runs like a dream, and putting it together is one of the best decisions I&rsquo;ve ever made. More recently, with streaming sites like Netflix, Hulu, etc. cracking down on password sharing, it has become my pathway to shedding some monthly subscriptions and owning my own media.</p>
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<li>
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<a href="/tags/home/">Home</a>
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<a href="/tags/life/">Life</a>
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<a href="/tags/tech/">Tech</a>
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</article>
<article>
<time>
10 March 2024
@ -150,27 +179,6 @@
</article>
<article>
<time>
7 January 2024
</time>
<h2><a href="/hate-for-the-island/">hate for the island</a></h2>
<div class="barcode">
hate-for-the-island
</div>
<p>I was born and raised on Long Island in a hamlet that rests along the Great South Bay.<sup id="fnref:1"><a href="#fn:1" class="footnote-ref" role="doc-noteref">1</a></sup> Known to most as a ferry town, this charming suburb lives and breathes the ocean. Most every resident has access to some kind of boat, whether through personal ownership or advantageous friendship. In the 90s, the town was voted the &ldquo;friendliest town in America,&rdquo; a slogan that still adorns the sign as you drive into town, by a mysterious group that awards such superlatives. That accolade, along with our yacht clubs, country clubs, lack of racial diversity, and generalized fear of anything outside the norm makes the town the near picture of 1950s suburban ideal.</p>
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<a href="/tags/life/">Life</a>
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</article>
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@ -368,7 +479,7 @@
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@ -44,6 +44,27 @@
<article>
<time>
7 January 2024
</time>
<h2><a href="/hate-for-the-island/">hate for the island</a></h2>
<div class="barcode">
hate-for-the-island
</div>
<p>I was born and raised on Long Island in a hamlet that rests along the Great South Bay.<sup id="fnref:1"><a href="#fn:1" class="footnote-ref" role="doc-noteref">1</a></sup> Known to most as a ferry town, this charming suburb lives and breathes the ocean. Most every resident has access to some kind of boat, whether through personal ownership or advantageous friendship. In the 90s, the town was voted the &ldquo;friendliest town in America,&rdquo; a slogan that still adorns the sign as you drive into town, by a mysterious group that awards such superlatives. That accolade, along with our yacht clubs, country clubs, lack of racial diversity, and generalized fear of anything outside the norm makes the town the near picture of 1950s suburban ideal.</p>
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<ul>
<li>
<svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" width="24" height="24" viewBox="0 0 24 24" fill="none" stroke="currentColor" stroke-width="1.5" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round" class="icon icon-tabler icons-tabler-outline icon-tabler-tag"><path stroke="none" d="M0 0h24v24H0z" fill="none"/><path d="M7.5 7.5m-1 0a1 1 0 1 0 2 0a1 1 0 1 0 -2 0" /><path d="M3 6v5.172a2 2 0 0 0 .586 1.414l7.71 7.71a2.41 2.41 0 0 0 3.408 0l5.592 -5.592a2.41 2.41 0 0 0 0 -3.408l-7.71 -7.71a2 2 0 0 0 -1.414 -.586h-5.172a3 3 0 0 0 -3 3z" /></svg>
<a href="/tags/life/">Life</a>
</li>
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</div>
</article>
<article>
<time>
1 January 2024
@ -153,38 +174,6 @@
</article>
<article>
<time>
31 August 2023
</time>
<h2><a href="/media-log-august-2023/">Media Log (August 2023)</a></h2>
<div class="barcode">
media-log-august-2023
</div>
<h1 id="movies">Movies</h1>
<ul>
<li><em>Barbie</em> - I was underwhelmed. There&rsquo;s been lots of chatter, and I loved <em>Lady Bird</em>, but <em>Barbie</em> didn&rsquo;t hit for me; too much Ken (to be the hundredth person to whine about it) and the ending felt unearned and thematically confused. This was more of an homage to <em>Barbie</em> as a product than it was an homage to womanhood, but it pretended to be the latter.</li>
</ul>
<h1 id="games">Games</h1>
<ul>
<li><em>Vampire Survivors</em> - I originally played <em>Vampire Survivors</em> for my video game podcast, <a href="https://pitchandplay.org">Pitch &amp; Play</a> (on hiatus but will come back!); my friend and co-host Ross recommended it to me. I was pleasantly surprised by how much I got into it given that I don&rsquo;t really have nostalgia for this sort of game, but I played several hours of it and then became distracted by life. While moving this month, I was without internet for quite a while and had not hooked up my consoles (or my PC, still). To kill some time while my body recovered from lifting boxes and scrubbing surfaces, I downloaded <em>Vampire Survivors</em> onto my phone and went deep into it. It&rsquo;s a fantastic game that I&rsquo;ll come to associate with my early days in the house.</li>
</ul>
<h1 id="books">Books</h1>
<ul>
<li><em>Walk Two Moons</em> by Sharon Creech - I read this book originally as a child in the fifth grade. I remember loving it but little else. I have been looking for a text to add to my curriculum and wanted to try <em>Walk Two Moons</em> out. I enjoyed reading it and was surprised by how much of it came back to me even though I am (nearly) twenty years out from reading it the first time. I do think the Native American set dressing might be problematic given that the author is not, by any account I&rsquo;ve read, actually Native; the plot is also predictable, but perhaps that is because I&rsquo;m an adult reading a book written for children and because I&rsquo;ve read it before. I&rsquo;m not sure it&rsquo;s the book I&rsquo;m looking for, but it&rsquo;s not a bad read.</li>
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@ -233,18 +222,24 @@
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@ -44,6 +44,38 @@
<article>
<time>
31 August 2023
</time>
<h2><a href="/media-log-august-2023/">Media Log (August 2023)</a></h2>
<div class="barcode">
media-log-august-2023
</div>
<h1 id="movies">Movies</h1>
<ul>
<li><em>Barbie</em> - I was underwhelmed. There&rsquo;s been lots of chatter, and I loved <em>Lady Bird</em>, but <em>Barbie</em> didn&rsquo;t hit for me; too much Ken (to be the hundredth person to whine about it) and the ending felt unearned and thematically confused. This was more of an homage to <em>Barbie</em> as a product than it was an homage to womanhood, but it pretended to be the latter.</li>
</ul>
<h1 id="games">Games</h1>
<ul>
<li><em>Vampire Survivors</em> - I originally played <em>Vampire Survivors</em> for my video game podcast, <a href="https://pitchandplay.org">Pitch &amp; Play</a> (on hiatus but will come back!); my friend and co-host Ross recommended it to me. I was pleasantly surprised by how much I got into it given that I don&rsquo;t really have nostalgia for this sort of game, but I played several hours of it and then became distracted by life. While moving this month, I was without internet for quite a while and had not hooked up my consoles (or my PC, still). To kill some time while my body recovered from lifting boxes and scrubbing surfaces, I downloaded <em>Vampire Survivors</em> onto my phone and went deep into it. It&rsquo;s a fantastic game that I&rsquo;ll come to associate with my early days in the house.</li>
</ul>
<h1 id="books">Books</h1>
<ul>
<li><em>Walk Two Moons</em> by Sharon Creech - I read this book originally as a child in the fifth grade. I remember loving it but little else. I have been looking for a text to add to my curriculum and wanted to try <em>Walk Two Moons</em> out. I enjoyed reading it and was surprised by how much of it came back to me even though I am (nearly) twenty years out from reading it the first time. I do think the Native American set dressing might be problematic given that the author is not, by any account I&rsquo;ve read, actually Native; the plot is also predictable, but perhaps that is because I&rsquo;m an adult reading a book written for children and because I&rsquo;ve read it before. I&rsquo;m not sure it&rsquo;s the book I&rsquo;m looking for, but it&rsquo;s not a bad read.</li>
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<a href="/tags/media-log/">Media-Log</a>
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<article>
<time>
18 August 2023
@ -158,29 +190,6 @@
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<article>
<time>
26 July 2023
</time>
<h2><a href="/what%27s-this/">What&#39;s This?</a></h2>
<div class="barcode">
what&#39;s-this
</div>
<p>Well, I have another blog.</p>
<p>Welcome to <a href="https://cassie.land">cassie.land</a>, the latest (as of writing this) web project that I&rsquo;ve started and may promptly abandon.</p>
<p>Here&rsquo;s the truth: These past few months have shown me the impermanence of online platforms. I have quit reddit with the third-party API shutdowns, and while I am probably better off for it, it does feel like losing one of the bastions of the internet I once knew. I regret to inform that I am officially an old person on the internet; I yearn for the days of hyper-specific Geocities pages with incredibly useful information written by a thirteen year old screaming into the void (and for the days where our search engines actually directed us to that information rather than some circuitous tripe written by AI that packs in every SEO keyword without actually saying anything).</p>
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<time>
26 July 2023
</time>
<h2><a href="/what%27s-this/">What&#39;s This?</a></h2>
<div class="barcode">
what&#39;s-this
</div>
<p>Well, I have another blog.</p>
<p>Welcome to <a href="https://cassie.land">cassie.land</a>, the latest (as of writing this) web project that I&rsquo;ve started and may promptly abandon.</p>
<p>Here&rsquo;s the truth: These past few months have shown me the impermanence of online platforms. I have quit reddit with the third-party API shutdowns, and while I am probably better off for it, it does feel like losing one of the bastions of the internet I once knew. I regret to inform that I am officially an old person on the internet; I yearn for the days of hyper-specific Geocities pages with incredibly useful information written by a thirteen year old screaming into the void (and for the days where our search engines actually directed us to that information rather than some circuitous tripe written by AI that packs in every SEO keyword without actually saying anything).</p>
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<description>&lt;p&gt;I&amp;rsquo;m not a New Years Resolution person; listening to a lot of &lt;a href=&#34;https://loscampesinos.bandcamp.com/track/my-year-in-lists-2&#34;&gt;&amp;ldquo;My Year in Lists&amp;rdquo;&lt;/a&gt; by Los Campesinos! as a teen made me quite cynical about the whole thing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, I &lt;em&gt;am&lt;/em&gt; a very goal-oriented, reflective person. In late 2022, after years of gaining weight and developing some really negative patterns of self-talk around my body image, I decided to join a gym. Of course I&amp;rsquo;d like to see the number on the scale go down, but the main goal was just to get healthier and develop healthier habits. I started running, because that&amp;rsquo;s what I used to do (not well), and eventually convinced a friend to join with me. Together, we set the goal of running a 5K, and we did our first in May of 2023, in about 41 minutes (in our defense, it was an &lt;em&gt;extremely&lt;/em&gt; hilly course, but also progress, progress&lt;sup id=&#34;fnref:1&#34;&gt;&lt;a href=&#34;#fn:1&#34; class=&#34;footnote-ref&#34; role=&#34;doc-noteref&#34;&gt;1&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sup&gt;). We ran three more as the year went by; my most recent was November, where I finished in around 36 minutes.&lt;/p&gt;</description>
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<h1>Tags</h1>
<h2><a href="/tags/week-notes/">Week-Notes</a></h2>
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<h2><a href="/tags/week-notes/">Week-Notes</a></h2>
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<footer>
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@ -98,7 +98,7 @@
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<a href="https://listenbrainz.org/user/babyspace/">
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<title>Automattic&#39;s Write Brief is, unsurprisingly, full of shit</title>
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<description>&lt;p&gt;Automattic &lt;a href=&#34;https://techcrunch.com/2024/08/07/automattic-launches-ai-writing-tool-that-aims-to-make-wordpress-blogs-more-readable-and-succinct/&#34;&gt;recently launched their Write Brief AI assistant&lt;/a&gt; for folks using Jetpack with WordPress.&lt;sup id=&#34;fnref:1&#34;&gt;&lt;a href=&#34;#fn:1&#34; class=&#34;footnote-ref&#34; role=&#34;doc-noteref&#34;&gt;1&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sup&gt; It is automatically available to anyone using wordpress.com, which I verified by logging into my 14-year-old account.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I decided to test it out on my recent post about &lt;em&gt;The Basic Eight&lt;/em&gt;. I chose this because it&amp;rsquo;s one of my more recent posts that isn&amp;rsquo;t #week-notes . I pasted it directly into the Gutenberg editor with all of the AI settings toggled on.&lt;/p&gt;</description>
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<description>&lt;p&gt;I&amp;rsquo;m not a New Years Resolution person; listening to a lot of &lt;a href=&#34;https://loscampesinos.bandcamp.com/track/my-year-in-lists-2&#34;&gt;&amp;ldquo;My Year in Lists&amp;rdquo;&lt;/a&gt; by Los Campesinos! as a teen made me quite cynical about the whole thing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, I &lt;em&gt;am&lt;/em&gt; a very goal-oriented, reflective person. In late 2022, after years of gaining weight and developing some really negative patterns of self-talk around my body image, I decided to join a gym. Of course I&amp;rsquo;d like to see the number on the scale go down, but the main goal was just to get healthier and develop healthier habits. I started running, because that&amp;rsquo;s what I used to do (not well), and eventually convinced a friend to join with me. Together, we set the goal of running a 5K, and we did our first in May of 2023, in about 41 minutes (in our defense, it was an &lt;em&gt;extremely&lt;/em&gt; hilly course, but also progress, progress&lt;sup id=&#34;fnref:1&#34;&gt;&lt;a href=&#34;#fn:1&#34; class=&#34;footnote-ref&#34; role=&#34;doc-noteref&#34;&gt;1&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sup&gt;). We ran three more as the year went by; my most recent was November, where I finished in around 36 minutes.&lt;/p&gt;</description>
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<description>&lt;p&gt;I recently listened to an episode of &lt;em&gt;Never Been a Better Podcast&lt;/em&gt; in which Austin Walker, referencing &lt;a href=&#34;https://twitter.com/v21/status/1490297801569353729&#34;&gt;a Twitter thread&lt;/a&gt; by @v21, posited that we are moving into a new era of the internet where content is generated by machines rather than people; where once the internet was used by people to access large bodies of information and to connect with &lt;em&gt;other&lt;/em&gt; people, we now use it to connect with machines that regurgitate photocopies of photocopies of information.&lt;/p&gt;</description>
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@ -130,12 +130,12 @@
<footer>
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<title>Reflections on elections</title>
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<description>&lt;p&gt;2016 was the first year I was eligible to vote in a presidential election. I was away at college, so I completed an absentee ballot, and, like most, felt confident in what I thought would be the result. I was no big fan of Clinton&amp;rsquo;s — I voted for Bernie in the primaries — but the other option was laughable: I couldn&amp;rsquo;t believe that a major political party put such a clown up as their candidate, and I thought the electorate was smart enough to see him for the fraud (and fascist) he was.&lt;/p&gt;</description>
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<title>smooth runs the water where the brook is deep</title>
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<description>&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Write a blog post about words of wisdom your younger self would have appreciated hearing.&#xA;(via &lt;a href=&#34;https://blogprompts.fyi&#34;&gt;blogprompts&lt;/a&gt;)&lt;sup id=&#34;fnref:1&#34;&gt;&lt;a href=&#34;#fn:1&#34; class=&#34;footnote-ref&#34; role=&#34;doc-noteref&#34;&gt;1&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sup&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I&amp;rsquo;m trying out doing blog prompts in an effort to populate this blog with more than just weekly round-ups and to get more comfortable writing about personal things.&lt;sup id=&#34;fnref:2&#34;&gt;&lt;a href=&#34;#fn:2&#34; class=&#34;footnote-ref&#34; role=&#34;doc-noteref&#34;&gt;2&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sup&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I&amp;rsquo;m going to select two quotes — both song lyrics — that have resonated for me.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The first is from &amp;ldquo;Banshee Beat&amp;rdquo; by Animal Collective, which I first heard in my late teens (maybe 16?) and still consider one of my favorite songs.&lt;/p&gt;</description>
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<title>Moving to a rack mount setup</title>
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<description>&lt;p&gt;I wrote a post a few months ago &lt;a href=&#34;https://example.org/moving-my-home-server-to-a-new-chassis/&#34;&gt;cataloguing moving my home server&lt;/a&gt; from the old NZXT case I had leftover from my old PC into a Rosewill chassis that would let me, eventually, move to a proper rack setup. This past Prime Day, I purchased a Riveco 15U rack and then some sliding rails to go along with it, with the hope of finally moving the loud and hot NAS into the basement where it belongs.&lt;/p&gt;</description>
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<description>&lt;p&gt;I wrote a post a few months ago &lt;a href=&#34;https://cassie.ink/moving-my-home-server-to-a-new-chassis/&#34;&gt;cataloguing moving my home server&lt;/a&gt; from the old NZXT case I had leftover from my old PC into a Rosewill chassis that would let me, eventually, move to a proper rack setup. This past Prime Day, I purchased a Riveco 15U rack and then some sliding rails to go along with it, with the hope of finally moving the loud and hot NAS into the basement where it belongs.&lt;/p&gt;</description>
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<title>breaking silences</title>
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<description>&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&#34;https://example.org/your-silence-will-not-protect-you/&#34;&gt;Last time I updated this blog&lt;/a&gt;, I wrote about silences in my professional career. These past few weeks, I feel I am doing the work to break mine.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am the faculty advisor for my middle school&amp;rsquo;s GSA. I have been for years now, and it&amp;rsquo;s something I&amp;rsquo;m very proud of, but this year especially I feel I have a great crop of kids that I&amp;rsquo;m really connecting with. At my town&amp;rsquo;s Pride festival in early June, my club had a booth selling crafts the kids had made to raise funds. The kids filtered in and out to help sell goods, but mostly I think they just valued having a &amp;ldquo;home base&amp;rdquo; at the event. For me, it was a long, socially draining day, but speaking to them afterward about the experience and hearing them tell me how at home they felt at the festival, how comfortable they felt being themselves, was so gratifying.&lt;/p&gt;</description>
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<description>&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&#34;https://cassie.ink/your-silence-will-not-protect-you/&#34;&gt;Last time I updated this blog&lt;/a&gt;, I wrote about silences in my professional career. These past few weeks, I feel I am doing the work to break mine.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am the faculty advisor for my middle school&amp;rsquo;s GSA. I have been for years now, and it&amp;rsquo;s something I&amp;rsquo;m very proud of, but this year especially I feel I have a great crop of kids that I&amp;rsquo;m really connecting with. At my town&amp;rsquo;s Pride festival in early June, my club had a booth selling crafts the kids had made to raise funds. The kids filtered in and out to help sell goods, but mostly I think they just valued having a &amp;ldquo;home base&amp;rdquo; at the event. For me, it was a long, socially draining day, but speaking to them afterward about the experience and hearing them tell me how at home they felt at the festival, how comfortable they felt being themselves, was so gratifying.&lt;/p&gt;</description>
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<title>Your silence will not protect you</title>
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<description>&lt;p&gt;I&amp;rsquo;ve talked before on this blog about &lt;a href=&#34;../on-teaching/&#34;&gt;being a teacher&lt;/a&gt; and how passionate I am about my work; the time I spend with my students — which should be paramount and where all my energy goes — comes naturally. I often remark that I feel like I&amp;rsquo;m doing a stand-up comedy routine&lt;sup id=&#34;fnref:1&#34;&gt;&lt;a href=&#34;#fn:1&#34; class=&#34;footnote-ref&#34; role=&#34;doc-noteref&#34;&gt;1&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sup&gt; while teaching because my goal is not only to instruct but to develop joy in learning, in reading, in writing.&lt;/p&gt;</description>
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<description>&lt;p&gt;I have a home server (running Unraid) that I use to backup computers, as media storage, and to run various apps. It&amp;rsquo;s mostly been cobbled together from used parts I found for cheap, and it generally followed &lt;a href=&#34;https://forums.serverbuilds.net/t/guide-nas-killer-4-0-fast-quiet-power-efficient-and-flexible-starting-at-125/667&#34;&gt;Serverbuild&amp;rsquo;s NAS Killer 4 guide&lt;/a&gt;. It runs like a dream, and putting it together is one of the best decisions I&amp;rsquo;ve ever made. More recently, with streaming sites like Netflix, Hulu, etc. cracking down on password sharing, it has become my pathway to shedding some monthly subscriptions and owning my own media.&lt;/p&gt;</description>
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<description>&lt;p&gt;@jamesmckz &lt;a href=&#34;https://twitter.com/jamesmckz/status/1764778536244507081&#34;&gt;shared the following challenge on X&lt;/a&gt; earlier this month:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;No cheating - your Quietus style Bakers Dozen. 13 albums (off the top of your head) to know you by. Not looking for a perfect list, looking for a list that you instantly regret posting because you then remember something else.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I approached my response largely as a list of albums that have meant something to me in my life — not necessarily what I&amp;rsquo;m actively listening to at the moment. Many of these albums I&amp;rsquo;ve not listened to much in years, but I consider them pivotal, essential listening for &lt;em&gt;me&lt;/em&gt;.&lt;sup id=&#34;fnref:1&#34;&gt;&lt;a href=&#34;#fn:1&#34; class=&#34;footnote-ref&#34; role=&#34;doc-noteref&#34;&gt;1&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sup&gt;&lt;/p&gt;</description>
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<description>&lt;p&gt;I read a thread online recently about bisexuality: folks were discussing use of the label compared to something like pansexual. Many folks within the LGBTQ+ umbrella argue that pansexual is a more inclusive label than bisexual, as &lt;em&gt;bi-&lt;/em&gt; upholds a binary view of gender.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;My relationship with my bisexuality has been fraught. I can pinpoint in specificity where I feel it started: in the sixth grade (for me, 2005 or 2006), reading the sex ed chapter in my science textbook, I was presented with the three sexualities — heterosexuality, homosexuality, and bisexuality. I had, by that point, already started puberty and experienced low-level attraction. I&amp;rsquo;d been confused that that attraction never seemed to have a distinct target: I liked boys and I liked girls. I remember an immediate sense of comfort and belonging in the term. &lt;em&gt;That&amp;rsquo;s allowed?&lt;/em&gt;, I thought. Reading it in a textbook made it seem so simple. &lt;em&gt;Then surely that&amp;rsquo;s the way to be.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;</description>
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<description>&lt;p&gt;I was born and raised on Long Island in a hamlet that rests along the Great South Bay.&lt;sup id=&#34;fnref:1&#34;&gt;&lt;a href=&#34;#fn:1&#34; class=&#34;footnote-ref&#34; role=&#34;doc-noteref&#34;&gt;1&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sup&gt; Known to most as a ferry town, this charming suburb lives and breathes the ocean. Most every resident has access to some kind of boat, whether through personal ownership or advantageous friendship. In the 90s, the town was voted the &amp;ldquo;friendliest town in America,&amp;rdquo; a slogan that still adorns the sign as you drive into town, by a mysterious group that awards such superlatives. That accolade, along with our yacht clubs, country clubs, lack of racial diversity, and generalized fear of anything outside the norm makes the town the near picture of 1950s suburban ideal.&lt;/p&gt;</description>
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<description>&lt;p&gt;I&amp;rsquo;m not a New Years Resolution person; listening to a lot of &lt;a href=&#34;https://loscampesinos.bandcamp.com/track/my-year-in-lists-2&#34;&gt;&amp;ldquo;My Year in Lists&amp;rdquo;&lt;/a&gt; by Los Campesinos! as a teen made me quite cynical about the whole thing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, I &lt;em&gt;am&lt;/em&gt; a very goal-oriented, reflective person. In late 2022, after years of gaining weight and developing some really negative patterns of self-talk around my body image, I decided to join a gym. Of course I&amp;rsquo;d like to see the number on the scale go down, but the main goal was just to get healthier and develop healthier habits. I started running, because that&amp;rsquo;s what I used to do (not well), and eventually convinced a friend to join with me. Together, we set the goal of running a 5K, and we did our first in May of 2023, in about 41 minutes (in our defense, it was an &lt;em&gt;extremely&lt;/em&gt; hilly course, but also progress, progress&lt;sup id=&#34;fnref:1&#34;&gt;&lt;a href=&#34;#fn:1&#34; class=&#34;footnote-ref&#34; role=&#34;doc-noteref&#34;&gt;1&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sup&gt;). We ran three more as the year went by; my most recent was November, where I finished in around 36 minutes.&lt;/p&gt;</description>
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<description>&lt;h2 id=&#34;stage-1-denial--naivety&#34;&gt;Stage 1: Denial &amp;amp; Naivety&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I don&amp;rsquo;t have that much stuff. I don&amp;rsquo;t think packing is going to be that hard this time. I&amp;rsquo;ve already boxed up my books &amp;ndash; how much more could I need to do?&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;h2 id=&#34;stage-2-coping--bargaining&#34;&gt;Stage 2: Coping / Bargaining&lt;/h2&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Okay, there is actually a lot to do, but it&amp;rsquo;s not so bad. I can just drop everything in the garage and focus on cleaning the apartment.&lt;/p&gt;</description>
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<title>I finished The Basic Eight and I can&#39;t decide if I enjoyed it</title>
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<description>&lt;p&gt;Spoilers to follow.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I wrote in my week notes:&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;The Basic Eight&lt;/em&gt; by Daniel Handler.&lt;/strong&gt; Handler&amp;rsquo;s &lt;em&gt;Adverbs&lt;/em&gt; is often what I cite when folks ask what my favorite book is, and I loved &lt;em&gt;Watch Your Mouth&lt;/em&gt;, too. I need light reprieves from &lt;em&gt;The Odyssey&lt;/em&gt;, too, so this seemed an excellent time to round out my reading of Handler&amp;rsquo;s bibliography. I&amp;rsquo;m about halfway through and enraptured by the narrative voice. It&amp;rsquo;s pretentious, as a story narrated by a precocious high school senior should be, without being cloying, and with Handler&amp;rsquo;s charming humor throughout. I love it so far and have faith that the feeling will continue. I normally hate books set in high school, but this one takes me back to my high school self — somehow, in a good way, which I don&amp;rsquo;t think I&amp;rsquo;ve ever felt before.&lt;/p&gt;</description>
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<item>
<title>LITR 308 Emily Dickinson &amp; Queer Theory</title>
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<pubDate>Thu, 28 Dec 2023 00:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
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<description>&lt;p&gt;The lives of many literary greats remain a relative mystery; literary critics and historians are often left to piece together details from letters, documentation, and, sometimes controversially, the author&amp;rsquo;s work read for repeated motifs. They then draw what conclusions they can about the authors&amp;rsquo; lives. One of the most prolific female poets in the English literary canon, Emily Dickinson&amp;rsquo;s life is preserved in letters and artifacts from her life. When examined as a body of work, Dickinson&amp;rsquo;s poetry reveals a pattern of focus on women&amp;rsquo;s interior lives and relationships that may be regarded as queer, especially with the added dimension of her close relationship with her sister-in-law. This essay examines a selection of her poems through a queer lens, highlighting the poems&amp;rsquo; relationships to female love and Dickinson&amp;rsquo;s life and arguing against established patterns of erasing Dickinson&amp;rsquo;s queer identity.&lt;/p&gt;</description>
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<description>&lt;p&gt;In the beginning of Chapter VIII in the third section of &lt;em&gt;To the Lighthouse&lt;/em&gt;, pages 186-187, Virginia Woolf&amp;rsquo;s unique approach to perspective and introspection create a subjective presentation of reality and relationships, supported by extended metaphors of fluidity and stillness. On a boat trip mandated by Mr. Ramsay to the titular lighthouse, Cam and James anatomize and unfold their feelings towards their father. Cam evolves as the boat moves across the sea while James&amp;rsquo;s unflinching rage and violence towards the patriarch repeat in this section as the sailboat halts and space contracts to exacerbate his indignation. Woolf thus frames and explores the figure of Mr. Ramsay and the nominal motif of a journey through individual introspection and excurses. &lt;sup id=&#34;fnref:1&#34;&gt;&lt;a href=&#34;#fn:1&#34; class=&#34;footnote-ref&#34; role=&#34;doc-noteref&#34;&gt;1&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sup&gt;&lt;/p&gt;</description>
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@ -74,12 +74,12 @@
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@ -98,7 +98,7 @@
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@ -48,6 +48,13 @@
</h1>
<article>
<h2><a href="/cassie-ink-is-my-new-home/">cassie.ink is my new home</a></h2>
<time>
17 July 2025
</time>
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<article>
<h2><a href="/an-ode-to-gitsync/">an ode to gitsync</a></h2>
<time>
@ -81,12 +88,12 @@
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<item>
<title>cassie.ink is my new home</title>
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<pubDate>Thu, 17 Jul 2025 00:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
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<description>&lt;p&gt;I moved domains, again.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;This blog started on bearblog.dev as cassie.land. Bearblog is a great platform, but I &lt;a href=&#34;https://cassie.ink/what%27s-this-%28and-how-it-works%29/&#34;&gt;wanted a challenge in my life&lt;/a&gt;, I guess, so I taught myself to use Hugo and moved to esotericbullshit.net (cassie.land was repurposed for my NAS). I love the esotericbullshit moniker and URL — it makes me laugh — but as it turns out, it&amp;rsquo;s kind of hard to share your link when it contains profanity.&lt;sup id=&#34;fnref:1&#34;&gt;&lt;a href=&#34;#fn:1&#34; class=&#34;footnote-ref&#34; role=&#34;doc-noteref&#34;&gt;1&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sup&gt; Perhaps that&amp;rsquo;s copium for a growing domain purchasing addiction, but I intend to make this one stick.&lt;/p&gt;</description>
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<title>an ode to gitsync</title>
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<pubDate>Sun, 01 Dec 2024 00:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
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<description>&lt;p&gt;Since I &lt;a href=&#34;https://cassie.ink/what%27s-this-%28and-how-it-works%29/&#34;&gt;moved this site to Hugo&lt;/a&gt;, I&amp;rsquo;ve been using an app called GitJournal to post from my phone. I have a beautiful desk setup with a clacky mechanical keyboard that&amp;rsquo;s a joy to write on, but the simple fact is that I&amp;rsquo;m a lazy shit and want to update my blog from the couch. It&amp;rsquo;s all mostly worked fine, with some headaches. I originally intended to use GitJournal to store my Github repo to my phone&amp;rsquo;s filesystem and then point an Obsidian&lt;sup id=&#34;fnref:1&#34;&gt;&lt;a href=&#34;#fn:1&#34; class=&#34;footnote-ref&#34; role=&#34;doc-noteref&#34;&gt;1&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sup&gt; vault at that.&lt;/p&gt;</description>
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<title>what&#39;s this? (and how it works)</title>
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<description>&lt;p&gt;Welcome to cassie.ink, the new home of my blog and web stuff.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Previously, this blog was hosted at bearblog under the domain cassie.land. Now, I&amp;rsquo;m using the SSG Hugo to create the site, which deploys to Github Pages for hosting.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;So why the move?&lt;/strong&gt; I love bearblog and recommend it to just about anyone who wants to get into blogging and the small web — it&amp;rsquo;s dead simple for folks with no web expertise, it has an awesome community, and the discover page allows you to share your content and connect with folks also using the platform. Unfortunately, I am, at heart, a tinkerer — bearblog felt a little &lt;em&gt;too&lt;/em&gt; easy, and a little limiting for some of the visions I have. And, ultimately, I just want to &lt;strong&gt;own my content&lt;/strong&gt; and &lt;strong&gt;embrace new technologies and challenges&lt;/strong&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;</description>
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<description>&lt;p&gt;I&amp;rsquo;m not a New Years Resolution person; listening to a lot of &lt;a href=&#34;https://loscampesinos.bandcamp.com/track/my-year-in-lists-2&#34;&gt;&amp;ldquo;My Year in Lists&amp;rdquo;&lt;/a&gt; by Los Campesinos! as a teen made me quite cynical about the whole thing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, I &lt;em&gt;am&lt;/em&gt; a very goal-oriented, reflective person. In late 2022, after years of gaining weight and developing some really negative patterns of self-talk around my body image, I decided to join a gym. Of course I&amp;rsquo;d like to see the number on the scale go down, but the main goal was just to get healthier and develop healthier habits. I started running, because that&amp;rsquo;s what I used to do (not well), and eventually convinced a friend to join with me. Together, we set the goal of running a 5K, and we did our first in May of 2023, in about 41 minutes (in our defense, it was an &lt;em&gt;extremely&lt;/em&gt; hilly course, but also progress, progress&lt;sup id=&#34;fnref:1&#34;&gt;&lt;a href=&#34;#fn:1&#34; class=&#34;footnote-ref&#34; role=&#34;doc-noteref&#34;&gt;1&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sup&gt;). We ran three more as the year went by; my most recent was November, where I finished in around 36 minutes.&lt;/p&gt;</description>
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<title>What&#39;s This?</title>
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<description>&lt;p&gt;Well, I have another blog.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Welcome to &lt;a href=&#34;https://cassie.land&#34;&gt;cassie.land&lt;/a&gt;, the latest (as of writing this) web project that I&amp;rsquo;ve started and may promptly abandon.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Here&amp;rsquo;s the truth: These past few months have shown me the impermanence of online platforms. I have quit reddit with the third-party API shutdowns, and while I am probably better off for it, it does feel like losing one of the bastions of the internet I once knew. I regret to inform that I am officially an old person on the internet; I yearn for the days of hyper-specific Geocities pages with incredibly useful information written by a thirteen year old screaming into the void (and for the days where our search engines actually directed us to that information rather than some circuitous tripe written by AI that packs in every SEO keyword without actually saying anything).&lt;/p&gt;</description>
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<title>smooth runs the water where the brook is deep</title>
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<description>&lt;blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;Write a blog post about words of wisdom your younger self would have appreciated hearing.&#xA;(via &lt;a href=&#34;https://blogprompts.fyi&#34;&gt;blogprompts&lt;/a&gt;)&lt;sup id=&#34;fnref:1&#34;&gt;&lt;a href=&#34;#fn:1&#34; class=&#34;footnote-ref&#34; role=&#34;doc-noteref&#34;&gt;1&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sup&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I&amp;rsquo;m trying out doing blog prompts in an effort to populate this blog with more than just weekly round-ups and to get more comfortable writing about personal things.&lt;sup id=&#34;fnref:2&#34;&gt;&lt;a href=&#34;#fn:2&#34; class=&#34;footnote-ref&#34; role=&#34;doc-noteref&#34;&gt;2&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sup&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I&amp;rsquo;m going to select two quotes — both song lyrics — that have resonated for me.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;The first is from &amp;ldquo;Banshee Beat&amp;rdquo; by Animal Collective, which I first heard in my late teens (maybe 16?) and still consider one of my favorite songs.&lt;/p&gt;</description>
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<description>&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&#34;https://example.org/your-silence-will-not-protect-you/&#34;&gt;Last time I updated this blog&lt;/a&gt;, I wrote about silences in my professional career. These past few weeks, I feel I am doing the work to break mine.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am the faculty advisor for my middle school&amp;rsquo;s GSA. I have been for years now, and it&amp;rsquo;s something I&amp;rsquo;m very proud of, but this year especially I feel I have a great crop of kids that I&amp;rsquo;m really connecting with. At my town&amp;rsquo;s Pride festival in early June, my club had a booth selling crafts the kids had made to raise funds. The kids filtered in and out to help sell goods, but mostly I think they just valued having a &amp;ldquo;home base&amp;rdquo; at the event. For me, it was a long, socially draining day, but speaking to them afterward about the experience and hearing them tell me how at home they felt at the festival, how comfortable they felt being themselves, was so gratifying.&lt;/p&gt;</description>
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<description>&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&#34;https://cassie.ink/your-silence-will-not-protect-you/&#34;&gt;Last time I updated this blog&lt;/a&gt;, I wrote about silences in my professional career. These past few weeks, I feel I am doing the work to break mine.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;I am the faculty advisor for my middle school&amp;rsquo;s GSA. I have been for years now, and it&amp;rsquo;s something I&amp;rsquo;m very proud of, but this year especially I feel I have a great crop of kids that I&amp;rsquo;m really connecting with. At my town&amp;rsquo;s Pride festival in early June, my club had a booth selling crafts the kids had made to raise funds. The kids filtered in and out to help sell goods, but mostly I think they just valued having a &amp;ldquo;home base&amp;rdquo; at the event. For me, it was a long, socially draining day, but speaking to them afterward about the experience and hearing them tell me how at home they felt at the festival, how comfortable they felt being themselves, was so gratifying.&lt;/p&gt;</description>
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<description>&lt;p&gt;I&amp;rsquo;ve talked before on this blog about &lt;a href=&#34;../on-teaching/&#34;&gt;being a teacher&lt;/a&gt; and how passionate I am about my work; the time I spend with my students — which should be paramount and where all my energy goes — comes naturally. I often remark that I feel like I&amp;rsquo;m doing a stand-up comedy routine&lt;sup id=&#34;fnref:1&#34;&gt;&lt;a href=&#34;#fn:1&#34; class=&#34;footnote-ref&#34; role=&#34;doc-noteref&#34;&gt;1&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sup&gt; while teaching because my goal is not only to instruct but to develop joy in learning, in reading, in writing.&lt;/p&gt;</description>
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<description>&lt;p&gt;I&amp;rsquo;m not a New Years Resolution person; listening to a lot of &lt;a href=&#34;https://loscampesinos.bandcamp.com/track/my-year-in-lists-2&#34;&gt;&amp;ldquo;My Year in Lists&amp;rdquo;&lt;/a&gt; by Los Campesinos! as a teen made me quite cynical about the whole thing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;However, I &lt;em&gt;am&lt;/em&gt; a very goal-oriented, reflective person. In late 2022, after years of gaining weight and developing some really negative patterns of self-talk around my body image, I decided to join a gym. Of course I&amp;rsquo;d like to see the number on the scale go down, but the main goal was just to get healthier and develop healthier habits. I started running, because that&amp;rsquo;s what I used to do (not well), and eventually convinced a friend to join with me. Together, we set the goal of running a 5K, and we did our first in May of 2023, in about 41 minutes (in our defense, it was an &lt;em&gt;extremely&lt;/em&gt; hilly course, but also progress, progress&lt;sup id=&#34;fnref:1&#34;&gt;&lt;a href=&#34;#fn:1&#34; class=&#34;footnote-ref&#34; role=&#34;doc-noteref&#34;&gt;1&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sup&gt;). We ran three more as the year went by; my most recent was November, where I finished in around 36 minutes.&lt;/p&gt;</description>
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<description>&lt;p&gt;This September marks the start of my fourth year teaching.&lt;/p&gt;&#xA;&lt;p&gt;When I was a kid, I was always interested in teaching; my grandparents had an unfinished basement that, for some reason, had a little chalkboard and table. My siblings and I would play school down there, and I loved to play the role of teacher &amp;ndash; despite being considerably younger than them.&lt;sup id=&#34;fnref:1&#34;&gt;&lt;a href=&#34;#fn:1&#34; class=&#34;footnote-ref&#34; role=&#34;doc-noteref&#34;&gt;1&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sup&gt; I loved school, too. I loved most every subject (especially grammar &amp;ndash; I&amp;rsquo;m one of the few children who absolutely rejoiced when asked to take out my grammar workbook) and was, at the risk of conceit, &lt;em&gt;good&lt;/em&gt; at academics. I also read voraciously in elementary school.&lt;/p&gt;</description>
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<description>&lt;p&gt;I wrote a post a few months ago &lt;a href=&#34;https://example.org/moving-my-home-server-to-a-new-chassis/&#34;&gt;cataloguing moving my home server&lt;/a&gt; from the old NZXT case I had leftover from my old PC into a Rosewill chassis that would let me, eventually, move to a proper rack setup. This past Prime Day, I purchased a Riveco 15U rack and then some sliding rails to go along with it, with the hope of finally moving the loud and hot NAS into the basement where it belongs.&lt;/p&gt;</description>
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<description>&lt;p&gt;The lives of many literary greats remain a relative mystery; literary critics and historians are often left to piece together details from letters, documentation, and, sometimes controversially, the author&amp;rsquo;s work read for repeated motifs. They then draw what conclusions they can about the authors&amp;rsquo; lives. One of the most prolific female poets in the English literary canon, Emily Dickinson&amp;rsquo;s life is preserved in letters and artifacts from her life. When examined as a body of work, Dickinson&amp;rsquo;s poetry reveals a pattern of focus on women&amp;rsquo;s interior lives and relationships that may be regarded as queer, especially with the added dimension of her close relationship with her sister-in-law. This essay examines a selection of her poems through a queer lens, highlighting the poems&amp;rsquo; relationships to female love and Dickinson&amp;rsquo;s life and arguing against established patterns of erasing Dickinson&amp;rsquo;s queer identity.&lt;/p&gt;</description>
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<description>&lt;p&gt;In the beginning of Chapter VIII in the third section of &lt;em&gt;To the Lighthouse&lt;/em&gt;, pages 186-187, Virginia Woolf&amp;rsquo;s unique approach to perspective and introspection create a subjective presentation of reality and relationships, supported by extended metaphors of fluidity and stillness. On a boat trip mandated by Mr. Ramsay to the titular lighthouse, Cam and James anatomize and unfold their feelings towards their father. Cam evolves as the boat moves across the sea while James&amp;rsquo;s unflinching rage and violence towards the patriarch repeat in this section as the sailboat halts and space contracts to exacerbate his indignation. Woolf thus frames and explores the figure of Mr. Ramsay and the nominal motif of a journey through individual introspection and excurses. &lt;sup id=&#34;fnref:1&#34;&gt;&lt;a href=&#34;#fn:1&#34; class=&#34;footnote-ref&#34; role=&#34;doc-noteref&#34;&gt;1&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/sup&gt;&lt;/p&gt;</description>
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