--- title: don’t you know that I’m crazy for you? (WN32) date: 2025-09-14 tags: - week-notes draft: false cover: https://cdn.cassie.ink/images/2025/wn/32.jpg --- ## Doing This was the first full week of school, so naturally that consumed most of my time. Things are going well enough so far; I have one class that's really challenging, but the rest are smooth sailing. I saw an optometrist for the first time in my life this week; I noticed last year that I was having trouble seeing the board at the front of my classroom toward the end of the day. I thought it might just be fatigue, but Joe encouraged me to make an appointment even so considering I've never been. Apparently I have crossed a new threshold of old age and now need readers. I've insisted for years that I want glasses, that I feel they suit my face and personality, but the moment the doctor asked me "Do you want someone to help you pick out glasses today?" I was immediately confronted with my hubris and regretted all previous comments. The pair I ordered haven't come in yet, so expect a further meltdown next week. On the computer nerd front, I'm trying out [Mailspring](https://www.getmailspring.com/) in lieu of Thunderbird (which is great, but the interface is clunky and ugly and I am a fundamentally vain person), and I subscribed to [Obsidian Sync](https://obsidian.md/sync) for my vaults with work notes and my (non-blog, creative, unpublishable) writing. Obsidian offers a remarkably generous educator discount (40%). I've also taken my first foray into Soulseek, for which I'm about thirty years late to the party. Joe and I had a long conversation this week about some serious shit that isn't really appropriate to write about my little fucking blog, but the bit I do feel comfortable sharing here is my lifelong obsession with death and dying — not in a macabre true crime bullshit way, but in a perhaps obsessive and compulsive anxiety about my impending death and the ones of those I love. He has encouraged therapy; I said I would consider it for his sake. I believe he then encouraged me to also work on my lack of self-worth in therapy, too. My volleyball rec league started back up, so I now have that and my Sunday morning runs as regular routines. I'm running a 5K in early November and feel more than prepared, endurance-wise (the Sunday runs are five to six miles), but I'd really like to push myself to improve on speed before it rolls around. ## Reading I finished *All Boys Aren't Blue* by George M. Johnson at last. I think I need a break from young adult literature for a while — *Perdido Street Station* was next on my list, but a student teased me about never having finished *Villette*, so I'm tempted to give it another shot. ## Watching I've kept on with *Downton Abbey* on and off; it's become my folding laundry show. I'm now almost finished with the last season. It's remained entertaining, though I wouldn't consider any of it *good* in an objective sense beyond the first season. I think there are a few storylines that are completely misguided and borderline intolerable (Bates and Anna, mostly, and Prince Kuragin), but I haven't been compelled to *stop watching*, which indicates something — if only my low standards for what I consume whilst folding underwear. ## Listening Plex had a data breach that meant I had to change my password and do some reauthentication that I didn't get around to until the weekend, so I streamed a lot of music off the Bandcamp app when away from home — primarily *EELS* by Being Dead, which I [first mentioned back in July](https://cassie.ink/week-notes/025/) and remain a great fan of. A student of mine recommended that I listen to Tyler, The Creator, which I now feel obligated to do, though I think I know what the end result will be. He gave me three albums, and I think I'm going to start with *CALL ME IF YOU GET LOST*. More to come on that. I also ripped a better quality version of *... A Better View of the Rising Moon* by 1997, an album I really liked when I was 12, so I'm listening through that for the first time in probably over a decade. No detailed thoughts at the moment, and any that I could offer would be undoubtedly clouded by nostalgia. My best sweeping generalization is that it's not a bad album, but it's dated and kind of for children, which I no longer am. I need readers, after all.