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<time datetime="2024-08-26T00:00:00&#43;00:00">August 26, 2024</time>
<h1>I want to sleep and dream alone (week notes 006)</h1>
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<h1 id="doing">Doing</h1>
<ul>
<li>I was at school one day this week for an orientation for some student leaders.</li>
<li>I went to Six Flags and realized I&rsquo;m old; my tolerance for roller coasters is, suddenly, shockingly low.</li>
<li>Feeling extreme relief but also guilt for being such an introvert — lately I feel I&rsquo;m an anti-social loner, but friends have reassured me that these feelings are normal and everyone enjoys and protects their alone time (to an extent, depending on the person). All I really want to do is be alone in my house, left to do my silly little projects.</li>
<li>I&rsquo;m trying still to move away from big, corporate social media — I have been spending more time on Mastodon and the bearblog discover feed. I&rsquo;ve scarcely opened Twitter, and I&rsquo;ve set 30m app timers for Facebook and Instagram. I rarely hit it for either, but something about knowing the timer is there makes me more conscious of the time I&rsquo;m wasting on them. I&rsquo;m not happy yet with my screen time as a whole, but at least I feel I&rsquo;m seeing more of real people (and people I choose to follow) than algorithms and dark patterns.</li>
<li>On Friday, I went to IKEA with a friend and my sister to get some things for the house and a few items for my classroom.</li>
<li>I intended to go into school on Saturday and begin some of the physical setup I need to do, but I felt sick and exhausted. I took a COVID test (negative) — I&rsquo;m hoping it&rsquo;s just holdover from a long day of driving on Friday.</li>
</ul>
<h1 id="reading">Reading</h1>
<ul>
<li><strong><a href="https://a-demain.bearblog.dev/studying-to-be-a-teacher-in-the-modern-day/">Studying to be a teacher in the modern day</a> by Sparrow.</strong> I feel the same about teaching as Sparrow: it&rsquo;s a hard career to choose in today&rsquo;s education system and economic climate, but teaching is so intrinsically part of me that I can&rsquo;t see myself doing anything else. Even with the stress, the low pay, the poor working conditions, I love it.</li>
<li><strong><a href="https://marblethoughts.bearblog.dev/what-a-demure-mindful-and-brat-summer/">What a demure, mindful, and brat summer</a> by Kayla.</strong> Great introspective piece on trends and shifting mindsets. As I get older, I&rsquo;m less connected to fads (especially because I&rsquo;m not on TikTok and have curated my social media feeds), but I do try hard to understand them — I never want to be someone who brushes things off as &ldquo;kids these days&rdquo; absurdity and who blames the younger generation for every societal woe. Brat summer and demure sound silly, but there&rsquo;s importance in trying to understand what matters to young people<sup id="fnref:1"><a href="#fn:1" class="footnote-ref" role="doc-noteref">1</a></sup> — and we can only reach state of cooperation and harmony through mutual understanding and respect.</li>
<li><strong><a href="https://slate.com/advice/2024/08/dear-prudence-coworkers-too-personal.html">Help! I Invited My Coworkers Into a Very Personal Part of My Life. Now I Really Regret It.</a> by Hillary Frey.</strong> I read Dear, Prudence often to satisfy my busybody tendencies and, occasionally, to talk through social quandaries with my partner. The first letter here hit particularly hard; I am a teacher and regularly have coworkers ask super invasive questions about my family planning. I&rsquo;m friends with someone who went through IVF and she&rsquo;s opened my eyes to how these &ldquo;innocent questions&rdquo; (they&rsquo;re not) can hurt folks dealing with infertility. I&rsquo;m not, but even I find questions about whether I&rsquo;m trying for a baby super invasive!</li>
<li><strong><a href="https://blog.avas.space/kindness-online/">finding kindness online</a> by ava.</strong> A great piece about connection in gaming. I have baggage with video game-centric spaces online, but this gives me some hope.</li>
</ul>
<h1 id="watching">Watching</h1>
<ul>
<li><strong><em>America&rsquo;s Next Too Model,</em> cycle 1.</strong> Mostly passive viewing while folding laundry, but cycle 1 has a special quality. It feels less like a reality show and more like a documentary about what it&rsquo;s like to be on a reality show. The budget is clearly low and the show hadn&rsquo;t established its structure just yet, so the contestants learn how the show works along with us. It feels grounded and authentic — for a season of <em>Top Model</em>, that is.</li>
<li><strong><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1bYvqnTvUCg&amp;list=PLe_AuQUfBKl5R3Sc7Erpq3Y2me6q6uZ0R">Into the Aether&rsquo;s Pokemon Emerald Nuzlocke</a></strong> Joe and I are continuing this and still really loving it!</li>
</ul>
<h1 id="playing">Playing</h1>
<ul>
<li><strong><em>Final Fantasy XIV.</em></strong> I&rsquo;m slowly working through the post-<em>Stormblood</em> patch content. Joe is still playing through <em>A Realm Reborn</em>, so I&rsquo;m levelling Warrior to do dungeons alongside him as a new class. I&rsquo;m enduring the slow, painful grind of levelling my Squadrons, too. I like the concept of Squadrons — they remind me of my beloved <em>Final Fantasy Tactics Advance</em>,<sup id="fnref:2"><a href="#fn:2" class="footnote-ref" role="doc-noteref">2</a></sup> but unfortunately there is very little variety and a lot of waiting involved here.</li>
<li><strong><em>Pokémon White Version</em></strong>. I was inspired to jump into a Pokémon game by the Nuzlocke Joe and I are watching. I&rsquo;ve never really played <em>White</em>; maybe a year ago I did the first three gyms, but I remember none of it. I started it over on Saturday night.</li>
</ul>
<h1 id="listening">Listening</h1>
<p>Nothing really specific — just some shuffles. I have, however, <a href="https://listenbrainz.org/user/babyspace/">started tracking my listening data to listenbrainz</a>!</p>
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<li id="fn:1">
<p>and, also, I loved <em>brat.</em>&#160;<a href="#fnref:1" class="footnote-backref" role="doc-backlink">&#x21a9;&#xfe0e;</a></p>
</li>
<li id="fn:2">
<p>I&rsquo;ve never played <em>Final Fantasy Tactics</em>, even though I love <em>Tactics Advance</em> and <em>Final Fantasy XII</em>. I have no interest in playing a PS1 or PSP game at the moment (or ever? — no hate to either console or their libraries, but I like modern conveniences and quality of life upgrades), so I&rsquo;m waiting for the remake that is almost certainly in the works.&#160;<a href="#fnref:2" class="footnote-backref" role="doc-backlink">&#x21a9;&#xfe0e;</a></p>
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