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<title>I know if I don&#39;t go now I won&#39;t make it out (week notes 010) | cassie.ink</title>
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<time datetime="2024-09-22T00:00:00&#43;00:00">September 22, 2024</time>
<h1>I know if I don&#39;t go now I won&#39;t make it out (week notes 010)</h1>
<div class="barcode">
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<h1 id="doing">Doing</h1>
<ul>
<li>My volleyball rec league started back up! I&rsquo;m awful and uncoordinated on the court, but it&rsquo;s fun to play with friends, and I have learned the hard way that I&rsquo;m a lot less depressed when I&rsquo;m active.</li>
<li>I&rsquo;m enjoying reading ex-cohost folks on the bearblog discovery feed. The trending feed can get a little stale.<sup id="fnref:1"><a href="#fn:1" class="footnote-ref" role="doc-noteref">1</a></sup> I hope they stick around.</li>
<li>I took a walk (and a run) with a dear friend that I&rsquo;ve been trying to get together with for a while. She&rsquo;s decades older than me, but we are incredibly like-minded. Kindred spirits. I appreciate her wisdom and guidance and friendship immensely as she listens to all my neuroses.</li>
<li>On Sunday night, Joe and I went to a wedding for two of our best friends. Maybe I&rsquo;ll make a longer post with all that stirs up for me — thoughts on marriage and commitment&hellip;</li>
<li>Unfortunately, I left the wedding feeling sick. COVID test was negative so here&rsquo;s hoping it&rsquo;s just allergies from the changing season.</li>
</ul>
<h1 id="reading">Reading</h1>
<ul>
<li><strong><em>No One Belongs Here More than You,</em> Miranda July.</strong> I stand by what I said last week. I think I need a break from the sexual deviants I&rsquo;m apparently (and unconsciously) selecting lately. I&rsquo;m glad to be done with this; I appreciated July&rsquo;s occasional wit and found it Handler-esque, but those touches were few and far between, and the rest of it mostly just grossed me out.</li>
<li>My next books will be <em>The Sound of a Wild Snail Eating</em>, recommended by a friend and coworker, and, I think, <em>Into the Wild</em>, which I&rsquo;ve always meant to read. It might not seem like much for an English teacher, but these past few months I&rsquo;ve been reading for pleasure more than I have in years and it has me feeling so full. It&rsquo;s great to rediscover that joy.<sup id="fnref:2"><a href="#fn:2" class="footnote-ref" role="doc-noteref">2</a></sup></li>
<li><strong><a href="https://netigen.com/read/linkin-park-from-zero">&ldquo;Linkin Park, From Zero&rdquo;</a> by n3verm0re.</strong> I&rsquo;m not a Linkin Park fan by any means, but I have been interested in seeing how a group reawakens after such a tremendous loss. I really enjoyed this piece about it.</li>
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<h1 id="listening">Listening</h1>
<ul>
<li><strong><em>Green Dream in F#</em> and <em>Rare Birds</em>, The Bug Club.</strong> I asked a student of mine what kind of music she listened to; she said her music was too weird and I&rsquo;d probably never heard of it. I took that as a personal challenge. But it&rsquo;s not that weird — although, as an (ex?) Xiu Xiu listener, my barometer is off. I liked both albums! They&rsquo;re light, fun listening, and absolutely up my alley.</li>
<li><strong><em>Romance is Boring</em>, Los Campesinos!</strong> Listening to the music students of mine like has me thinking about the music I was in love with at their age. <em>RiB</em> came out at the exact right time for me and holds a special place in my heart. I listen to tracks from it often, but this was the first time I&rsquo;d revisited some deeper cuts, like &ldquo;Who Fell Asleep In,&rdquo; in years.</li>
<li><strong><em>All Hell</em>, Los Campesinos!</strong> I&rsquo;m still forming my larger thoughts on <em>All Hell</em>, but it was interesting to compare side-by-side with <em>RiB</em>. It is far more even and consistent in quality — <em>RiB</em> has some all-timers but also some real duds (&ldquo;Plan A&rdquo;) — but there is a visceral, adolescent melodrama to <em>RiB</em> that <em>All Hell</em> lacks. <em>All Hell</em> is instead grown up and wistfully forlorn, especially compared to juggernauts like &ldquo;I Just Sighed.&rdquo; Both are good and appropriate for me at different times and headspaces, but <em>RiB</em> holds more of hook — although I have fifteen years of relationship and baggage with it compared to <em>All Hell</em>.</li>
<li>I&rsquo;m thinking about a recurring theme in songs I am or have been fixated on —
<ul>
<li><strong>&ldquo;Drops (reprise),&rdquo; The Peripheral Ones</strong> - &ldquo;I know if I don&rsquo;t go now I won&rsquo;t make it out&rdquo;
<ul>
<li><strong>&ldquo;The Whale Song,&rdquo; Modest Mouse</strong> - &ldquo;I guess I am a scout / so I should find a way out / so everyone can find a way out&rdquo;</li>
</ul>
</li>
<li><strong>&ldquo;Ave Maria,&rdquo; Mac Miller</strong> - &ldquo;Have you found a way out?&rdquo; &amp; <strong>&ldquo;Come Back to Earth&rdquo;</strong> - &ldquo;I just need a way out of my head / I&rsquo;ll do anything for a way out of my head&rdquo;</li>
</ul>
</li>
<li>— the idea of making it out is, of course, not a unique theme, but perhaps it&rsquo;s why <em>The House on Mango Street</em> resonated with me: <em>&ldquo;For the ones I left behind. For the ones who cannot out.&rdquo;</em></li>
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<li id="fn:1">
<p>I think posts don&rsquo;t decay quickly enough from the feed, and the top page or two of trending posts are all by the same handful of people. There&rsquo;s a handful of very active posters, which is a great thing, but I like to see variety there.&#160;<a href="#fnref:1" class="footnote-backref" role="doc-backlink">&#x21a9;&#xfe0e;</a></p>
</li>
<li id="fn:2">
<p>A friend of mine, a music teacher, told me a few months ago, sadly, that she wasn&rsquo;t finding joy in listening to music recreationally anymore. She made a life change and was hoping to reclaim it. I think that&rsquo;s what inspired me to start reading again. I of course engage with literature in my job as an English teacher, but it&rsquo;s not always mentally stimulating — for the most parts, I&rsquo;m reading the same texts over and over to a young audience.&#160;<a href="#fnref:2" class="footnote-backref" role="doc-backlink">&#x21a9;&#xfe0e;</a></p>
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