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I saw an optometrist for the first time in my life this week; I noticed last year that I was having trouble seeing the board at the front of my classroom toward the end of the day. I thought it might just be fatigue, but Joe encouraged me to make an appointment even so considering I’ve never been. Apparently I have crossed a new threshold of old age and now need readers. I’ve insisted for years that I want glasses, that I feel they suit my face and personality, but the moment the doctor asked me “Do you want someone to help you pick out glasses today?” I was immediately confronted with my hubris and regretted all previous comments. The pair I ordered haven’t come in yet, so expect a further meltdown next week.
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<time datetime="2025-09-14T00:00:00+00:00">14 September 2025</time>
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<h1>don’t you know that I’m crazy for you? (WN32)</h1>
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week-notes/32
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<h2 id="doing">Doing</h2>
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<p>This was the first full week of school, so naturally that consumed most of my time. Things are going well enough so far; I have one class that’s really challenging, but the rest are smooth sailing.</p>
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<p>I saw an optometrist for the first time in my life this week; I noticed last year that I was having trouble seeing the board at the front of my classroom toward the end of the day. I thought it might just be fatigue, but Joe encouraged me to make an appointment even so considering I’ve never been. Apparently I have crossed a new threshold of old age and now need readers. I’ve insisted for years that I want glasses, that I feel they suit my face and personality, but the moment the doctor asked me “Do you want someone to help you pick out glasses today?” I was immediately confronted with my hubris and regretted all previous comments. The pair I ordered haven’t come in yet, so expect a further meltdown next week.</p>
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<p>On the computer nerd front, I’m trying out <a href="https://www.getmailspring.com/">Mailspring</a> in lieu of Thunderbird (which is great, but the interface is clunky and ugly and I am a fundamentally vain person), and I subscribed to <a href="https://obsidian.md/sync">Obsidian Sync</a> for my vaults with work notes and my (non-blog, creative, unpublishable) writing. Obsidian offers a remarkably generous educator discount (40%). I’ve also taken my first foray into Soulseek, for which I’m about thirty years late to the party.</p>
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<p>Joe and I had a long conversation this week about some serious shit that isn’t really appropriate to write about my little fucking blog, but the bit I do feel comfortable sharing here is my lifelong obsession with death and dying — not in a macabre true crime bullshit way, but in a perhaps obsessive and compulsive anxiety about my impending death and the ones of those I love. He has encouraged therapy; I said I would consider it for his sake. I believe he then encouraged me to also work on my lack of self-worth in therapy, too.</p>
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<p>My volleyball rec league started back up, so I now have that and my Sunday morning runs as regular routines. I’m running a 5K in early November and feel more than prepared, endurance-wise (the Sunday runs are five to six miles), but I’d really like to push myself to improve on speed before it rolls around.</p>
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<h2 id="reading">Reading</h2>
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<p>I finished <em>All Boys Aren’t Blue</em> by George M. Johnson at last. I think I need a break from young adult literature for a while — <em>Perdido Street Station</em> was next on my list, but a student teased me about never having finished <em>Villette</em>, so I’m tempted to give it another shot.</p>
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<h2 id="watching">Watching</h2>
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<p>I’ve kept on with <em>Downton Abbey</em> on and off; it’s become my folding laundry show. I’m now almost finished with the last season. It’s remained entertaining, though I wouldn’t consider any of it <em>good</em> in an objective sense beyond the first season. I think there are a few storylines that are completely misguided and borderline intolerable (Bates and Anna, mostly, and Prince Kuragin), but I haven’t been compelled to <em>stop watching</em>, which indicates something — if only my low standards for what I consume whilst folding underwear.</p>
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<h2 id="listening">Listening</h2>
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<p>Plex had a data breach that meant I had to change my password and do some reauthentication that I didn’t get around to until the weekend, so I streamed a lot of music off the Bandcamp app when away from home — primarily <em>EELS</em> by Being Dead, which I <a href="https://cassie.ink/week-notes/025/">first mentioned back in July</a> and remain a great fan of.</p>
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<p>A student of mine recommended that I listen to Tyler, The Creator, which I now feel obligated to do, though I think I know what the end result will be. He gave me three albums, and I think I’m going to start with <em>CALL ME IF YOU GET LOST</em>. More to come on that.</p>
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<p>I also ripped a better quality version of <em>… A Better View of the Rising Moon</em> by 1997, an album I really liked when I was 12, so I’m listening through that for the first time in probably over a decade. No detailed thoughts at the moment, and any that I could offer would be undoubtedly clouded by nostalgia. My best sweeping generalization is that it’s not a bad album, but it’s dated and kind of for children, which I no longer am. I need readers, after all.</p>
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