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weblog/happiness.md

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+Date: 2025-03-16 11:51
+Location: /happiness
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+lately, i've been lucky to know happiness again. i would not be lying if i said this is the first time i've felt genuinely happy since 2019. happiness shows itself in many ways when you are finally making your way out of the rainstorm of depression and into the gentle warm embrace of happiness. it means i take pride in looking after my physical appearance, having trimmed my hair of the dead and split ends that made me look like the last person you should talk to. it means i take pride in having the chance to create who i was always supposed to be. that i go clothes shopping for gender affirming clothing, and while i am nervous, i am so thrilled at the chance to finally see a little more of me in the mirror
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+happiness means i try to eat as healthy as i can given the current price of food, and that i need the assistance of my state to purchase it. i try very hard. and now jeans that were once a very tight fit, feel a bit more comfortable. happiness means i love myself, a little more every day. that i keep trying to enjoy who i am, all of her in every way
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+happiness is finding the confidence to admit my last relationship was not good. that my partner was not a good partner for me. that many times they used me. that despite the support i gave them for their mental and physical health issues, they saw no reason to even return 1% of that when i needed help. it means i no longer mourn the loss of this relationship, and that i look forward to whatever is next for me. hopeful, and and filled with joy of the possibilities that exist in life
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+this doesn't have to be a long post. i'm doing really well recently, and i don't see it going away. every day i get a little better, i see happiness come out and show itself in new ways every day. i'm so glad the sun is shining