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jornak

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etherware-novice 2024-11-07 22:20:45 -06:00
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personal/journal.html
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@ -16,6 +16,27 @@ permalink: /journal
<h1>candys journal</h1>
<h2>basically the "hidden" vent section ive seen the webtracker nobody looks at this page</h2>
<article>
<h2>2024-11-07</h2>
<p>i feel like every single problem i've ever<br>
had in the creative space can be boiled down<br>
into this image:<br>
<img src="/personal/gomap.png"></img><br>
like, if i could just shut the frick up and<br>
"do it scared" i could get something done but<br>
i just have to try and force someone "successful"<br>
to help when i feel like im failing and<br>
it doesnt fix the problem of being scared to fail and<br>
ill eventually annoy them to the point they hate me again<br>
<br>
for creative stuff especially i feel like im falling<br>
into the trap of making the same kind of character, or<br>
like being unable to write a different perspective (or at all)<br>
i KNOW if I JUST SAT DOWN and WROTE i could EVENTULLY make someting PASSABLE but my STUPID BRAIN just gets PARALYZED at the SLIGHTEST HINT OF RESISTANCE and i just run to SOMEONE ELSE to GET ME TO DO IT I<br>
<br>
im sorry for all the negativity here but im trying to<br>
be more vulnerable here and this is how i am</p>
</article>
<article>
<h2>2024-11-07</h2>